To break the mold for the mostly surface-scratcher posts I've done so far, today we're going to delve into one of my (least) favorite topics. Strap in.
Lessen one. Me. I'm the one that needs lessening.. This is the ultimate idea of humility, though much of the time not a cognizant idea. Not always within a negative paradigm, humility seeks to bring the high-browed back down to earth, oftentimes, for the more brutish and arrogant such as myself, through sheer force and bludgeoning. 馃槀馃ぃ馃槶
For whatever reason, the more knowledge that we gain, the more arrogant we tend to be. To a point, at least. As if the new knowledge that we found was somehow derived from our own enormous wells of deep wisdom. In my own experience, I reached (and likely will revisit and dive off again and again) a precipice where much of the arrogance, by way of sheer necessity, fell away to make room for the realization that new knowledge opens new and bigger doors that lead to even more knowledge.. To say, we reach a point where our understandings have proven to us that arrogance is the antithesis of knowledge and growth.
Without leaving much room for more knowledge, arrogance not only blinds us to the truth but prevents us from even seeking it. Saying, "I've already got it figured out, why should I explore alternate perceptions and thought?" The proverbial double-edged sword.
So in an all-too-little used phrase:
Let's be frank, we could all use a humility lesson too. One of the biggest challenges for myself and the few others out there that, like me, struggle with pride (in the negative context) is to accept that, despite all our tools and labours, we might be the only one nearby consciously working on toning our little egos down.. Or we might feel that those who are on the same journey of humbling themselves aren't progressing quite as fast as we would like. This is PRIDE speaking! Everyone is on their own trek, has their own pace, and their own convictions. Let us not constantly be trying to push others to work as fast as we want. Instead, let us use our influence and our lives as examples of progress and use the time that others question our success to encourage them to gain on their goals. Stimulate growth, not judgement; progress not bitterness.
From experience, bitterness and judgement is all to be gained from trying to force others to your way. We all can always be gaining humility and losing our inflated ideas about ourselves. We've never reached the goal of ultimate humility, therefore, we should rarely, if ever, be condescending towards others on their goals. Not the same as not encouraging growth in others, but use some tact. A good rule of thumb that I've found is just to simply speak to others in way that I would like to hear it myself.
Me, myself and I, us three.. 馃榿
If you take anything from my little rant, understand that humility is about trying to find ways to be ultimately responsible for our actions and the consequences thereafter. When we are able to admit our mistakes, apologize when we are wrong, and move forward without having to blame others for their role, real or imagined, in our failures, we find true humility.
I know firsthand how hard it can be to apologize when I've done something wrong when my wrongdoing was just a reaction to someone else doing me wrong. The fact is that we always make the choice of how we respond to others and our response is what we are accountable for. We can choose to take the high ground and split with our ego that begs us to make that snappy comeback, begs us to uphold our "honor" and prove our manliness or whatever. Or we can make the choice to advance our goals by keeping someone from being opposed to us and trying to prevent us from succeeding. By not engaging those who do us wrong or approaching them with humility and respect to resolve the conflict, we prepare our proverbial lands for the bountiful harvest by way of the "rain" of networking and relationship-building.
I'd like to say that when you take the high ground that you will always be pleased with the outcome. And that's mostly true, if you are able to look past the temporary or fleeting emotions surrounding being rejected or someone doubling down on their poor treatment of you. Truth is, it won't always feel good in the moment. But when we come to the conclusion that we will always be rewarded with experience and/or added levels of patience, we actually always do win. In the end.
Stay humble, take the tactical and moral high ground every time, and give grace to those who have done you wrong. Just as much as you have received the grace and forgiveness of others that YOU damaged...
Thanks for stopping by, feel free to comment with personal stories of working humility in your lives or humility working for you.
Stay humble and #carryon lest you become carrion.
