WTF? What was I thinking?
Weeks after my birthday and I reread my post Treintona, Soltera and ... #GADAMADRE ... and WTF? * What were you thinking?
After reading my desperate cry through a blog, I'm not surprised that my family and best friends came to my rescue! I was seeing everything wrong!
The worst of all is that I needed an intervention disguised as birthday party food to realize:
My family took me to PFChangs (deliiiiiiii) and suddenly:
-Leva, I feel that you are leveraging your happiness in other people: Specifically, a husband and a son - said Nancy, my older sister.
There was more talk than that: He gave me his point of view, my father and mother contributed, my brother and sister-in-law intervened on another occasion and then my best friend also shared his words.
Then I began to do an autopsy of everything: I went step by step, conversation by conversation, link by link, barbone by barbone: Am I leveraging my happiness in other people?
I went barbel by barbone doing an autopsy of each conversation, look, expectation, hope ... making my thoughts bleed when I remembered with each other's pain every flirtation I launched. TOTAL BEAR. Pame is right: I need seduction and flirting classes.
And I realized that it was true: I'm waiting for other people to come to my life to be happy.
What's wrong with me? Does anyone else do that? How did they solve it? Tips, please!
The truth I did not know if the intervention was for my post or if it was something they were saving and preparing to tell me and my birthday was the best time, but ... everyone? The same message?
When your whole family and best friends tell you the same thing, something is happening.
Then I decided not to give up, but I did say "fuck it!". I have spent years of my life, YEARS, looking for the father of my unborn and unprepared children. What would happen if I decide to stop using my time in that and use it, I do not know, in something different and worthwhile: in me?
I am a very blessed person (I am Catholic), why not stop being for what I do not have but I want and the others do and have better start enjoying what I do have?
This year I have a new purpose. It started from December 10, 2017, but this year I will carry it out: I want to invest in myself, grow spiritually, professionally and personally. Go with the psychologists, psychiatrists and life coach necessary to leave behind this, to be able to RELEASE and start seeing other aspects of my life. Work on me To be really happy with the life with which I have been blessed.
Because if I want the "makeup" ** that Idalia has and that Mony has, my sister-in-law, I have to do what is necessary to grow, to learn and I have to prepare myself to have the "makeup". And that preparation is not only know how to make ranch egg without breaking my yolk. It is also learning to wash sweaters without shrinking ...
But I'm scared: I'm afraid of not having to write, what to share. I really fear that they will not accompany me.
Will you accompany me on this new path? If there is someone reading, will you accompany me?
And ... have you also been the target of an intervention?
"Maquillalje" was the key word my sister used to say "husband, children, your own family" Local joke because I love makeup and Sephora. I wanted to be faithful to the conversation, so I decided to leave it at that. I apologize if I do not explain myself and, above all, if it is not funny for others.
