Going through some posts, I learned a lot about our members. Many of us had big weddings and just as many had small weddings, it’s all a matter of what we could afford at the time and what we wanted personally. And for those who were yet to get married, they wanted something either small or big. Sike, it’s either one or the other after all, huh?
It’s kind of simple. You’re either having something elaborate or you’re having something simple. That’s how it’s meant to be, as long as both partners are in agreement. However, when it comes to me and the way I envision my wedding day, believe me when I tell you; I’ve not given it a lot of thought.
For me, it’s just another of those things I believe falls under the file of “we’ll cross the bridge when we get to it”. Marriage is not on my mind right now, so I’ve not really thought about a wedding. But in the rare instance I do, I’ve always considered it to be such a hassle. I’ve never understood the reason behind all the stress and fuss about getting married. It’s always a back-breaking and pocket-draining experience. Then, you’ll have to invite the entire world to the wedding or they’ll hate you for it. When the world does come, you’ll have to feed them all.
Hah God… what a fuss! For me, I’d prefer not to have a wedding at all. I’m a baby boy, I can’t afford to go through all that stress biko. But then, does this mean I don’t wanna get married? There’s a difference between getting married and having a wedding, they’re supposed to go hand in hand, but I just want to kick one to the curb and go with the other.
There’s this meme I saw online saying; it was trust issues that made them invent examinations. Because if I was taught well and I understood perfectly, there was no need to test me and see proof. That’s how I see weddings. If I show you a woman and tell you she’s my wife, that should be it. No need for weddings and all that.
Not too long ago, I watched the Alchemy of Souls and in season 2, I saw something that really piqued my interest. The two lovers simply declared themselves married without any due process or anything. Like, right in front of the elders, he told them she was now his wife and there was nothing they could do to change the fact. When the lady was asked if she was truly married to him, she confirmed it. To me, that’s easier than renting halls and inviting the entire country to the wedding.
Maybe I’ll do that. As long as my family and hers accept the joining, then we’ll simply declare it official and start living together. Or maybe I can do what Dominic Toretto did in Fast and Furious and get married in church but it’ll be just two of us and our parents as witnesses. Once we exchange our vows, we’ll run out of there and head home to begin our happily ever after. After all, it worked for Dominic… lol!
On a more serious note though, I’m not a fan of big weddings and multiple celebrations, they give me a headache. I’ve seen people run into debt just because they want to have the perfect wedding, they want it big and they want to show the world something sha, because for the life of me, I don’t know what the hell it is. People get married every day, and whatever it is you want to show us, we’ve most likely seen it already. So, how can your wedding be perfect if it drives you into debt?
For me, all weddings are important. But the most important one is traditional, it’s so important that your church wedding won’t take place if you haven’t been wed traditionally yet. People look down on traditional weddings and favor white weddings, but that’s ignorance in my books. Traditional signifies the actual coming together of the two families and the two communities. That is where in front of your family and your people, you let them know that this is the person you choose to spend the rest of your life with.
As you know, any marriage where the families are not in support is already on shaky ground. The Trad is meant to cement the relationship, not just between the couple but between the family. I know that in this day and age, it has been turned into a money-making scheme. Just to get married, the demands would send the young man to an early grave. But still, if there’s a wedding I must do, then it’ll be traditional.
To me, white weddings are just another means to run a hole in your pockets and I’ve never really seen the point. What we call a white wedding here, is just a traditional wedding in the UK or the USA. So, why would I do the same thing twice? After all, the point of getting married in the Church is to stand before God with his priest as a witness when you both exchange your vows. That’s why most wedding services are no different from normal Sunday services, they only differ where there will be an exchange of vows. And all that can easily be done in the traditional ceremony.
I honestly do not see myself wearing a suit and tie, do you want heat to kill me? If, per adventure, I do have to get married in the church, know that I won’t be wearing a suit. I’ll definitely wear either Ankara or Senator, and if I really love the girl, I’ll wear shoes. If not, I’ll just wear palm slippers. After all, there’s no rule saying the bride must wear a gown while the groom must wear a tux. I really hope it doesn’t get to that though.
After the Trad, the next important one is the court wedding. That is letting the law and the government recognize that you both are married and making it official. There are those who do all three types of weddings, and that’s ideal. And there are those who do only one, it’s not bad at all.
I know that I can’t pull a Dominic Toretto, I’m too Nigerian for that. Neither can I pull off that stunt in Alchemy of Souls, I’ll be kidding myself. But I can choose the kind of wedding I want and for now, the only one that makes sense to me is the Traditional wedding and I’ll be going with it for now.
The Koko is that I love her and she loves me, every other thing is meant to fall into place eventually. It’ll be a great wedding, I’m sure!