Where's The Rest of Her?

brisby(59)

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#humor

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578

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3 min

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Today I pulled into my driveway and saw this in my backyard.

Great, another box with a body...
My children came running outside, eager to see what I thought of their decorations. The oldest, Cheese Fiend, rattled off a list of what was in the trunk; a skull, my scarf, a creepy doll, a cardboard deer, my sonic screwdriver, and so on. My youngest monster, Miss Savage, began a story of how there came to be a dead person strewn around the yard.

She told me that the kids were playing in the living room when their dog, Shadow, began to bark at the window. They ignored him at first but then checked to see what had him riled up. The only things outside were an empty yard, rose bushes and a hedge. Fiend told Shadow to lie down, which he did begrudgingly, chuffing under his breath. Everything was quiet for almost a minute and then the three heard a terrified yell.

Shadow barked and they ran to the window. Outside, on the lawn, a blonde woman was being pulled from the street towards the house. Her hands were clawing into the grass, grasping for purchase, trying to escape. While being dragged, she used her right leg to kick towards her left. Her ragged screams were loud, desperate for someone to save her.

This doesn't make me eager to do yard work.

Fiend opened the window and yelled to the terrified woman. Suddenly, the blonde stopped moving. For a moment, she lay there, trembling and gasping. Then she shot to her feet, wobbled a bit, and then bolted for the front door of the house. Four seconds passed before she was out of sight.

A clattering from the storm door told the girls that the woman was on the porch. Shadow jumped at the door, barking and raking his claws down the wood. Fiend yelled at Savage to phone for help while she headed to let the woman in. She touched the door handle and paused. The other side was silent. There weren't any panicked yells or even the sound of heavy breathing. Nothing. Shadow had stopped barking. He sat in the entranceway, staring intently at the gap between the floor and the door. Fiend called out to the lady. Nothing. Scared, Fiend stepped back from the front door and yelled louder. No response. Savage came over and asked Fiend what they should do. She couldn't answer her sister.

I wonder if she was member of the Helping Hands Association ?

Miss Savage stopped her story and stared at me, grinning. She wanted to know what I thought. I told her that it was a really good start to a story. I asked for the ending. She laughed at me and said that it was obvious. Fiend joined in. After staring at both of them for longer than I should have, I gave in and said I couldn't guess.

"The house ate her!", they sang, laughingly.

I joined in the laughter and walked around the yard with my girls. It was cute how excited they were to just be silly and make up scary stories. We left the side yard, crossed the lawn and opened the storm door. I looked up the steps that led to my porch and paused. After listening to my children's story about our carnivorous house, all I could think was, "Where's the rest of her?"