In this case study I want to dive into the question of whether a woman is a gold digger or not. This is more from a male perspective and how I test women to gauge their response. I recently saw something where someone said, "just because a woman wants to be with a man who is financially secure doesn't mean she is a gold digger."
On a lot of levels I would agree with that statement. If a woman is trying to mainly make sure that a guy has at least some level of ambition and isn't living in his parent's basement in a porn and energy drink fueled masturbation binge on a daily basis it makes sense. She essentially doesn't want to have the burden of taking care of you her whole working career.
The question is when does the mindset shift over to you taking care of her your entire working career?
Some of the questioning is going to go down the line of your career path from the simple fact that she wants to make sure you aren't some shady drug dealer tied in with the Mexican drug cartels. I have tested different responses on a lot of different girls. It is funny to see their reactions. Sometimes it isn't in person and sometimes it is.
In some respects I understand the deposition these women dish out about this. It is when the questioning then dives into material possessions that you need to be concerned.
In general people don't like to take a step down. Depending on what your situation was when you grew up you either want to maintain that existence or step into a nicer existence. That is understandable. That being said the lines can be very blurred these days.
The majority of people in the United States and in other countries are walking balls of debt. Mortgages, car loans, student debt, credit card debt....etc.
On the other hand someone else could be driving a 10 year old vehicle they don't owe anything on and not have any other debt but are living modestly.
So from a woman's perspective who is going to look more "fun" or more "secure?" Probably the guy driving the Maseratti. He looks like he is ball'n out of control! It can be very confusing for sure.
Here are some general things I might bring up in conversation to gauge their reaction. Some of this doesn't necessarily mean they are a gold digger or not but can point toward a girl being high maintenance or not on the same page with the way I act.
I have even had girls essentially set up the date with me asking if I want to get dinner sometime....etc Just to turn around and expect for me to pay for everything. That is a clear sign you don't want to be hanging around with her. Otherwise you are just going to be getting tooled out hard. The thing is some women make a living out of this. Think how much some of these women save by going on 3 or 4 dates a week and getting meals paid for. It would be insane. They can practically double their income by being a leech.
It is very hard to tell if a woman is a gold digger or not.
These are almost for sure signs where you need to just run.
This was about a month ago I matched with a resident doctor who lives 3 miles from me. There is a sports bar in between us which would be the most convenient since her schedule was really hectic. She started getting worried about the location through text. That it might be "dangerous." I eased her fears about it and said it was kind of a middle of the road type of place.
She meets me there and she wanted wine. She complained about the selection of wine but what could she expect. It was a sports bar. We were talking about what kind of doctor she was and all that. She was pretty stressed out because as a doctor you pretty much give up your 20's and you have a very hard schedule especially when you are in your residency. Everytime a new group of people walked into the bar she would laugh and shake her head. She basically was judging everyone who walked through the door and was acting like everyone was trashy. I just brushed it off and said, they are harmless.
Everything was cool other than that and the conversation was pretty good. She actually offered to pay for her drink which got her past the first part of the gold digger test. I ultimately ended up paying for it. She had to get up early the next morning so we were only there for about an hour and half. We walk out to the parking lot and directly outside the bar there was a mid 90's pick up truck that was someone beat up. She asked if that was my truck. I looked it and said, "No, but I probably should have a pickup truck" and told a story of how I drove my car up the back side of Mt. Lemmon which is a gravel road and is washed out in places. It isn't something you would expect to see a car on.
We walked a little further into the parking lot and were talking some more and there was a late 90's Mustang that had the clear coat burnt off of it. That is common to see out here in Arizona if a car isn't kept in a garage. She again asked, "Is that your car?" I looked at it and said, "No but that is unfortunate that the clear coat got scorched like that." And then I said something to the effect that the sun is super harsh out here and it just shows you what it could do to a person's skin.
She then says, "Well where is your car?" I pointed over in the general direction of it but there were like 20 cars parked in that direction. The point is she was super worried about what kind of car I drive. I could really tell it bugged her not to know what kind of car I drive when it really shouldn't matter at that point. I had known her less than two hours at that point. It ultimately becomes a RED FLAG when there is that big of a deal made of it.
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