Have you ever tried Zentangle? Its a meditative art flow. its super fun. It's a doodling form where you follow given patterns over and over to create a piece of art, but you get into a mediative state in the making process. I struggle with bi-polar disorder and I find this process to be very calming and focusing, especially when I feel I can't do anything(can't even think straight) on hard days. You can look up how-to's with a quick internet search. There are even some websites that have different patterns available.

And they don't have to be shared. My tangles are for me only really. I don't share them, my sketchbook is like my "diary" in a way. My art therapy if you will.

Well wishes to you with your struggles. I know its not easy. <3