Life is dynamic. So many things playing into any given day. Every person around you having their own choice impacting any number of people around them.
We will go through our day asking the question 5-10 times a day to any number of people "How's your day?". While for the most part there are monotonous responses expected - the reality is that response to that question can burst with any wild assortment of responses...anything can happen on any given day. People are powerful because they have choices, and everyone's choice impacts people around them...possible for the good, possibly for the bad....
It is not too far of a stretch to say that all of us have experienced some level of pain or joy from other people. It is par for the course in being a human. 33 years into my life I am starting to develop a database of experiences of marking events in my life that have impacted how I think, make decisions and engage on any given day. The most impactful series of experiences have come as a result of being married, having kids and building a family. It is the housing unit that we all are designed to be apart of from birth to death, and what I believe is the single most impactful force on the planet.
As messed up as your family may be, in all its dysfunction, odd traditions, weird euphemisms, you have taken on most of those. And in a weird way probably love it. Sure a perfect family would be great. Right? I don't think so. A perfect family would imply...well perfection...and none of us would fit in....and it wouldn't really be the most powerful force in the world...it would be weird lame robot.
What makes family a powerful force is it's ability to house real love. A family creates an environment where the members can come and be fully present in all of their glorious non glory...
I mean any young parent knows. I have put a few pic's of my family on this post that are amazing...these pictures do not show the chaos that ensued at my house trying to get these clothes on these kids...these pictures do not include the rocks that the youngest was hurling toward the older ones...these pictures do not include the spill of gatorade thats all over that nice white shirt (hiding behind the black vest).
I look at these pictures though and am reminded how much I love my kids, how much I want them to succeed, live with purpose, powerfully impacting our world. A family creates an environment where these kids can experience love, security, empowerment, and my wife and I can learn to give that love thats needed for these kids to thrive.
Our need for that never runs out...spilling our gatorade as adults generally has us dealing with much harsher consequences, but we still have family to fall back on and recover. If you do something that lands you in trouble with the law, or getting fired, or maybe you are the one that is getting violated...where do you go? You can always fall back on family...even if your family is dysfunctional.
As a parent, when my issues are coming up, when I make stupid decisions I can still fall back on my parents for support. Obviously, it looks a little different now that I am into my 30's but the empowerment I feel from my parents, and even now from my in-laws is unlike what I can experience from my friends.
There are people I have counseled and friends I have shared life with that have experienced a family unit that is beyond repair. Obviously the circumstances are all different, there could be different forms of abuse, trauma, or just incredible offense and bitterness. In these cases, when these people do not find a new family unit, it is one of the most hopeless painful things on the planet. It legitimately creates hopelessness, because they have no housing unit to bring their pain or challenges into.
If that is you, please reach out to someone. Look for a new family, it will look a bit conventional...but you do not want to live in that kind of loneliness.
Just want to remind and encourage you, that your family is an incredible force of nature. Even in your dysfunction and insecurities, you are creating a space for your kids to learn, grow, heal and overcome. You will never stop being parent...stay the course, its freaking hard! And spilled gatorade can drive you crazy...
Live Big Today and Dominate Life...and enjoy the pics!
