I started what I’m calling the meditation odyssey on Sun., Oct. 1.
For those of you who did not read my intro, which is most, if not quite all, of you, I will briefly recap what I’m doing and why.
To work with / understand / come to terms with my current dissatisfaction with life and self, I’m going to travel inwards on a “meditation odyssey” so I can be a person I like, or like the person I am (these are not the same thing) and live my life as fully and wholly as possible. Or at least know I tried. We’re only in this particular life once, and I’d like to make the most of it. And if reincarnation does exist, it doesn’t hurt to have accumulated a little wisdom in the life before...evolve one’s karma and all that so as to avoid winding up as a male praying mantis or such in the next go round.
So…… I’m following the “free” meditation course here https://palousemindfulness.com/ that mirrors the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program founded by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. It’s online, self-guided and “taught” by certified MBSR instructor Dave Potter (I called him Jeff Potter in my first intro post which I have since corrected. I do apologize Mr. Dave Potter!)
It’s an eight week program, and my goal is to share what I learn here on SteemIt and ultimately complete the thing and make meditation and mindfulness a life-long habit. I’ve had this goal before. I’m trying again. I have trouble with life affirming, healthy habits. I’m great with habits like drinking and smoking, although I have quit the latter, for the fifth or so time. I also drink quite a bit less and with moderation, often but not always.
So this is day 4 in week 1. On the first day, Sunday, I followed directions, which in itself is a feat, and I did the worksheet you’re to complete before you start. This is what my sheet says. It’s kinda hard to read. Sorry.
Then I spent the better part of the day reviewing all of the prep materials for the week…when I wasn’t popping up every five minutes to do something else that had to be done at that very same moment, that is. It took me 40 minutes to watch the first 14 minute video for God’s sake. Because I realized I needed tea, and then I washed dishes while the water boiled for the tea and snacked on these fabulous onion and sea salt cashews while the tea steeped, and then resumed the video only to pause it shortly thereafter because I needed a tissue and realized the cats were hungry and fed them, and what the hell?!!? But I was mindful about being distracted and noticed my craziness so that’s something. Right? And it is a great video so I have no idea why I couldn’t just sit and watch it! But whatever.
I settled down eventually and got through all of the required material for week one. Four videos, four articles and the first meditation, a body scan for 30 minutes.
The first two videos are Ted Talks, and they are awesome: The Power of Mindfulness with Shauna Shapiro, and Don’t Try to Be Mindful with Daron Larson. Never heard of either of these people before, but I took away several good things from both.
The first talked about the idea of mindfulness being about “intentional kind attention”…rather than just attention. This is nice. However according to Shauna, and I do hope I may call her Shauna, this means I’m to get up every day and say “Good morning, I love you Jen.” That’s me. I’m Jen. And I say to that oh ick. Shauna admits this is ick. I don’t know if I can do it. But this is not the first time I have heard this is important to do. It’s noted. We’ll see. Nothin’ doin so far.
Now Daron says “meditation is about changing your relationship with discomfort.” Yes. Good. I am down with that since I am uncomfortable with discomfort. Now drinking, drugs and smoking have been quite helpful in the past offsetting unsettledness. But as we’ve been told, over and over, there are consequences to relying on these vices too frequently, and I don’t want to be towing around an oxygen tank in my wheelchair at 60, which now that I’m 50, is getting damn close for comfort. We can’t all be Keith Richards. That man defies nature and the surgeon general.
These two videos are followed by a four-minute video vignette from John Kabat Zinn about befriending, rather than fixing, our bodies and reinforcement that more is right with us than wrong with us. Ok. Lovely.
Last is the “raisin meditation” video with Dave (not Jeff) Potter. I loved the raisin meditation, and I’m not just saying that to suck up to Dave because I got his name wrong in my intro post and I don’t want him to hold it against me, even though the man has no idea I exist of course. Except I did request to lurk on the facebook page for people taking the course, and that email may go to Dave.
Nevermind. The raisin meditation was fun because it involved contemplating and then eating food. Raisins…in case that was unclear. Now I did not have raisins so I improvised and used dates. So you get two raisins or dates or whatever and a glass of water and then you summon your senses, one by one, and commune with the first raisin date. And you do not start with taste. Did you eat your raisin dates already? Taste is last you lovely ninnies.
Here are my dates (I am trying very hard to include pictures in these posts so don't give me any grief about posting a pic of dates!)
Start with date 1. First, look at it…and all its wrinkles and its shiny, waxy, caramelized surface…OMG…it’s Keith Richards face! Hahahahahaha! Kidding.
Then if you have a date and not a raisin, check out the hollow center and the color variations. Hold it up to the light! It does too have color variations!
So you’re touching it now, ‘cause you had to, to hold it up to the light, and it feels sticky and bumpy and craggy. Then you smell it…sugary, syrupy, sweet…then you listen to it. Yep, like a conch shell, you hold it up to your ear and oddly, if you help it a bit by rolling it between your fingers, it sighs and squeaks!
Then you get to slowly pop it in to your mouth. And you’re not supposed to bite down and chew, but rather roll it about inside your mouth and pay attention to what it feels like and let it slowly melt. I tell you I held the date in my mouth for almost the whole video, so like 10 minutes.
Then you have yourself a drink of water and when your first raisin date has fully broken down, you get to have the second one while you consider the composition and journey of the raisin date. To be a raisin date that finds its way to your mouth, it drew warmth from the sun and nutrients from the soil to grow. Someone had to tend it and pick it. And then it needed to be packed and packaged and trucked and flown and stored. By other people for your benefit. And that transport took fuel that someone had to drill for and pour into barrels and so on and so on. All of this is in the date. The date is everything and everything is the date. And that means everything and everyone is inter-connected. When we understand and remember that, we can believe in and practice intentional kind attention.
This is important. This is what will make life better for all of us.
So if this is interesting to you, you can find all four videos in sequence here:
Seriously. They are worth the combined 40 minutes it takes to watch them.
Of course, if you want to do the whole program, rock on. Or rather, sit on. Go here to get the skinny: https://palousemindfulness.com/index.html
There were four articles too which I dutifully read, and you can get them from the aforetyped link as well.
They are “The Body Scan Meditation” by Jon Kabat Zin; “7 Myths of Meditation” by Deepak Chopra who is a celebrity meditator which I notice chafes me slightly and that is probably unfair so I will choose to ignore the chafing; “Why We Find It Hard to Meditate” by Ed and Deb Shapiro who I have never heard of and who didn’t address why I haven’t done it which is because I choose to do something or nothing else instead; and “What Would It Take for You to Be Still” by Catherine Price who wrote the article for Oprah magazine. Oprah is another celebrity who happens to be using her fame to promote meditation. Celebritization / Popularization of serious topics usually waters them down to the lowest common denominator but who cares I say. If meditation reaches the hinterlands of Pennsylvania, Alabama and Arkansas and the like even in its most basic form, society has been advanced. (I’m from Pennsylvania so I can write that. If you're from California, you can't. I didn't make the rules.) So you go Oprah and Deepak! (Like they need my support and encouragement.)
So I did all of that and meditated. The first week the meditation exercise is the body scan which is why you read about it. There’s an audio recording on the site to use. It’s a lying down meditation, and it’s about 30 minutes. Like shavasana in yoga.
On Sunday I did not fall asleep when I did it but my mind wandered all over the place. Monday and Tuesday I did it in bed at bedtime. This is unwise unless you have trouble falling asleep or have insomnia. Then it’s a great move because it puts you to sleep. Typically insomnia is not an issue I have so I will need to change this up. Maybe I’ll do it on the floor in my bedroom but not in my bed. Maybe I will try and do it before bedtime. I’ll let you know.
All in all this seems to me to be a very gentle and kind way to ease into meditation, and being me, and this is without doubt part of the problem, I’m not sure like it. What’s not to like you say. All that’s being asked of you is to lie down and stay there. Get in tune with your body. Go with that.
Well, I am going with it but since I’m not a gentle-and-kind-with-self kinda girl, it doesn’t feel like it’s as difficult as it should be. I’m not part of any off-center opus dei or Mormon cult where physical self-abuse is the order of the day, so don’t misunderstand. But on the other hand, “mental” inner kindness does not come naturally or easy or ever to me either. So while this is not breeze-in-the-pants easy (yeah, I have no idea what that means either), it’s far from agony. Sitting still and straight with no audio guide for three hours is. I know ‘cause I’ve tried it. Twice and only twice.
Ah so, grasshopper. Could that be the point? Maybe these MBSR / palouse meditation people know what they’re doing. How ‘bout that.
Sit on….
