I'm sorry to hear about your loss. That is never easy to go through. I used to journal quite a bit when I was younger. I have several spiral bound notebooks that I still keep on hand to write stuff down, but it's pretty rare since HIVE is kind of my journal now. I don't get quite as personal or in depth, but it gives me an outlet and helps me think critically off the chain to deal with things that I might write about on the chain. Also good luck with quitting drinking. I know it is probably quite a hard thing to do.