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Sometimes one of the cheat codes is how you can just figure out how to be consistently in a good mood and not to be working in the mind of all your trauma.
You are already doing pretty well as a parent. You need to enjoy your own life and not be perpetually stuck in the past.
If you want your kids to grow up into early adults, who will have more observe and will share the same life philosophy. You need the right path to life and how to live that life directly with a meaningful way and in a meaningful time.