I think the last two years of Covid and lockdowns have changed a lot of people's behaviours and motivation. You having a stroke compounds it and will definitely affect your outlook and how you view the future. This is quite evident in lots of your posts.

On the faking part, we all do it, especially to colleagues and acquittances, occasionally to family. But I think with family, we should be honest. You took the first step with being honest with yourself, now you need to be honest with your family. Remember, it's ok to not be ok - This is from an Imagine Dragons song.

Stay well friend!