Sometimes, a little boy needs his mother. I was outside this afternoon, watering the garden. I probably have done this a few hundred times, since mom passed away, right before the Covid19 Pandemic hit. Quite literally watered this Lace Cape Hydrangea, hundreds of times, before. And it hit me...I miss my mom.

My mom planted this around when I was in High School. So, a couple dozen years ago, at least. It started about from a 1 gallon pot, bot at a local Garden Center. Now, it is more than a couple meters wide (2 yards) and about a meter and a half tall (about 5 and a half ft). I miss mom, I wish she could see this, today.

Each year, as the blooms come, first green buds, then tiny white flowers, later, fading to a pale blue lavender, the greens turning to blue, too! The entire bush vibrates, too. Dozens and dozens of bees, gathering pollen, and bringing it back to their hives. It buzzes and moves, with the activity. I wish mom could see the bees and the blues. I miss my mom.

So, again, I am watering and it hits me. I miss mom. In the end, she struggled. Dementia, Alzheimer's, more frail each day. The end was a little drawn out. We did manage, the entire family to say our good byes, and in fact, my brother's and my family were each able to join her for that last day, and held her hand to say goodbye.

I miss her. Randomly, it hits: I have no parent to care for me. I am it. I take care of my kids, and nurture them, but, mom's not here any more. I know, I know, "Hey, 50-something, grow up!" But I miss my mom. Sit and tell her what I am cooking for dinner... or show her my garden, or laugh at songs we both know, or, give her the latest on the girls. I miss her.

Who knows, tomorrow, I will walk by and smile, and only think pleasant thoughts, of the Hydrangea, and of Mom. Or, I will stare at the Hosta, or Hydrangea, or Mock Orange, she planted. Maybe it will be the Plum Trees, or Cherry. Who knows? I do know this... I see mom's gift, in every corner of my gardens, and I see her hand in many of the plants, but, ...I miss my mom.