Love, Change And Regret

There was a time I felt how it was to be in love. He made me so happy so much that I never imagined life without him....I practically built my world around him. With him I felt comfortable as he brings out the best in me. For me, he was the one for me and nothing was going to change that....so I thought. Then things began to change, we just began to grow distant from each other. I started asking questions but he saw it as nagging, so the fights started. I blamed him for so many things but he hardly said anything, which always made me more angry...the silence.

Then I thought to myself, "ah! Couples fights, ours isn't any different." I made up my mind to apologise and try have a talk with him. Surprisingly, he wanted to say something too...in my mind, he realised his mistakes and he was going to apologise. We sat down waiting for who was going to speak first, coincidentally we started at the same time then stopped, after which him motioned for me to go on.

I apologised sincerely and told him I only wanted to know what the problem was. I told him how much he meant to me and how I regret having to argue with him most of the time. I was done talking so I asked him to talk, however the first thing he said came with a bad feeling. "You don't need to apologise, I think it is time to be honest to each other". Right there my heart began to beat fast, then I asked what he meant by that.

"Lets take a break from the relationship", in his exact words. "All you do is nag these days, I don't even have any breathing space anymore", he said and I could feel how hurt he was. "It is stressful at work already, then I come home to you nagging ...which is even more stressful. You used to be considerate, you used to welcome me home with a hug...you used to be my comfort but not anymore. We are not even married yet, but you changed so much", he said. The sincerity in his voice was so loud that I felt my heart break...

I was confused, with a million questions running through my head but I just couldn't find an answer. "I thought we were happy, I mean we just had a little fight", I said to him", but with the expression on his face it wasn't just about the fight. I pleaded with him, I told him I would change but to no avail. I begged him to stay but he left anyway and never returned.

Sometimes relationships can be scary when the person you love begins to change before your very own eyes. You cannot exactly say what went wrong or when it started but you begin to notice things change. You try to make it work but all effort you put changes nothing. A book I once read said when you are experiencing something like this, check yourself first. Maybe there is something you were doing before that you stopped doing or maybe you started doing something you never used to do. Most times, we are quick to blame the other person before checking to see if we played the major role in that change.

Do people change overnight? I doubt it, something must have happened that made them that way. That's where communication comes in, sit your partner down and talk to him. Don't point fingers just have an honest conversation, only then would the problem be known and possibly resolved. Love alone cannot make a relationship work, you need conscious effort to make it work. Being able to communicate with your partner, willingness to make compromises when need be, observing and understanding him or her, coupled by some other things.