Image is mine
Back then in Uni, I had this friend that we were not all that close. But somehow, after Uni we kept in touch and our friendship blossomed. We became each other's confidant and support system such that our families became aware of our friendship. It was such a relationship that remained platonic despite all the signs that it could have blossomed into something romantic.
Whenever it involves a new love interest, we always sought each other's opinion if to go ahead with a relationship or not. Then as time progressed, we discovered that we had a common challenge and that's us being in toxic relationships. A situation that broke us on an individual level but strengthened our friendship together because we had more reason to look out for each other.
Our friendship was structured such that boundaries were minimal and the laid down rules we had for other people did not apply to us. I usually do not take calls once it's past 8pm but my friend would call me by 3am in the morning and I'd have to sacrifice my sleep to be up and listen to whatever that he has to say. For him, he prefers text to call.
However, before calling, he expects to be texted first for an approval. But when it comes to me, I could pick up my phone and call him at random, especially whenever I'm having one of those bad days. At a point both our friends concluded that we were in a relationship and we just got tired of telling them otherwise. We remained friends despite being lovers in the eyes of many.
Moving on, we managed to sustain the friendship until last month when I decided to cut him off and deleted his contact from my phone. Interestingly, he never called or reached out and it was comforting for me because it became inherent that I took the right decision.
If there's one thing I have always done in my relationship with others is to put me first. Although, I'm not quick to cut off ties, especially one of such closeness. But when the friendship becomes one sided and filled with struggles, that's a cue that it's time to let go. With this my former friend, I noticed he started drifting two years ago when I had a legal issue. The moment the problem started, I had reached out to him that for my sanity, I'd be offline and he could reach me via my mom.
He was concerned at first and as I narrated my ordeal to him, he sympathised greatly with me. After that conversation we had, it was me never hearing from him again. And even after the whole situation blew over and I was vindicated, it was me constantly reaching out and him coming up with excuses for his absence. Sometimes, he would promise to call me and even apologize for his negligence but that's just as it goes because I never did get any call from him.
The final straw that broke the Camel's back was having to still call him to inform him that I would be in Lagos for the Holiday. I even sent him my location and it so happened that he lives in the area. I had expected to see him because before the whole Lagos trip and him growing cold, he would often whine about how distance is taking a toll on our friendship. But there was me in Lagos and my friend ghosted. I was furious to say the least and I wasn't going to let him have such a hold on me and ruin my holiday.
Before finalising on the decision to cut him off, I had reached out severally to know what's wrong and why the sudden change. I never got a concrete response from him as he didn't even acknowledge that there was a problem with our friendship.
Above is my response to the Inleo prompt day 20, you can participate HERE