My friends, I’d like to blame the way I feel on so many things. Writing until all hours of the night leaving me exhausted; allergies; children being… children. The truth is, I’m just sad today.
This is all I’ve been seeing lately, in the skies over our home. There were none for a minute, I'm not sure exactly how long, but a few days at least. Long enough for me to take a deep breath and say, wow… maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe chem flu isn’t really real. Maybe they did a little cloud seeding for rain but really, Geoengineering won’t result in the destruction of the PLANET or anything, right?
It's every day right now. I understand that I’ve just gotten started on this journey and that I haven’t really scratched the surface of what's going on. I barely understand the technology used to create chemtrails. I haven’t even explored the part where we figure out how to stop this, and so my bone-deep sadness isn’t productive. I don’t enjoy emotions or thoughts that are consuming and not productive. I like to dig and learn and then act. I’m finding that difficult to do right now.
I started feeling this way yesterday, as I pulled into my driveway bringing my kids home from school. My eldest daughter is 11 and has started to understand that chemtrails are not normal, that there are dangers they represent. She pointed the ones over our home and then asked, 'is organic food really organic, if that stuff is falling on it?' I didn't know what to say. Suddenly so much seemed ... pointless.
I almost wish I didn’t know. Not really, but do you know what I mean? I almost wish I didn’t have to look up, didn’t have to worry, to fight… I wish that people were who they say they were and that no one was out to hurt anyone else. That none of us were in danger from the entities we have been taught are here to help us.
I wish I knew for sure how to ensure the health and safety of you and yours. I wish I knew how to protect her...
As I read and searched and read more, I tried to find my passion and my rage and finally had to admit that I’m a little down. Don’t worry, I promise not to let myself stay here long. Just for the moment, however, I’m going to give myself some grace and go ahead and feel sad.
Thanks for being on this journey with me.
all pics taken by me or my husband on our Nexus 6 phones
@bethalea