Rejection and I

“I am good at walking away. Rejection teaches you how to reject.

― Jeanette Winterson, Weight: The Myth of Atlas and Heracles.

Hello there, full-time weekenders!

It comes as no surprise that rejection is a hard thing to overcome. We tend to be in our families where we're to some extent accepted. But once we start dealing with other people things get difficult. Once I started Elementary School, some of this hard times with the whole not-fitting into categories started. It was a mess and a pain in the rear.

To start, I had spent kindergarten with problems with authority. I'd wonder off from the classroom and explore the place. I'd get into fist fights with other kids if they pissed me off.

Yeah, my unfuckablewith atittude comes from birth.

When I started to be a good student, things took a turn. I couldn't go around beating fighting people since it didn't solve anything. So I was in this limbo about identity. Trying to fit in places and groups was awkward. My friendships had a tendency of being something related to the school year. So each new stage I had different friends. With one exception but that is not part of the story.

And this whole problem got even worse when the whole thing about girls started. I'm not handsome. I was intense. I was a mess. But there aren't many kids who are not like that. And rejection started coming left and right. I remember I used to eat with a group of some girls until some of them told me stop doing it because it looked gay. And it was something weird. I stopped doing it. Although, it seems some of them were more uncomfortable than others about that.

Then there was a whole deal of not-knowing-where-to-stand with a girl that I liked at the moment. It didn't go well as it wasn't exactly a rejection thing but it was another limbo.

So once I got into High School, I stopped trying to make friends and just focused on getting through the whole stuff. It was somewhat ok, but the whole rejection thing was still an issue. I even had some of that at home since my mom didn't like this whole deal with art I had going. Then, at some point I started to have some friends. The kind of friends to confide and talk about anything.

And thing went ok for the rest of the ordeal.

One of these friends once told me that some people were afraid of me since I was prone to show too much emotion. That made people feel weird trying to reject me from groups and else. Sure it didn't stop them. But I just took this thing as an advice and started to work on not taking things personal. Teenagers are not people. I'm included in there. It's a really weird time of your life where things happen and you don't know what to make of it. However, having all these things happen helped me understand a lot about human relationships.

Then, once I was out of school and went into college, things were different. In college, people are not on the same mindset. Those stupid teenage things are irrelevant. Popularity isn't a thing. Groups are far more diverse. You see some new faces each day. You can find a place to feel better.

Nonetheless, the whole experience of facing rejection has gotten me into the mood of not taking lots of things too seriously. So I'll come and go from groups as I please and offer no explanation if I'm missing. Life continues and we can't do nothing about it but be in our path or take a different one.

I'd say handling rejection is a lot easier now. It happens. It's a part of life. It's not always a personal issue. And it's ok. We are not for everyone's liking. And being rejected does teach you what things you don't like. Things you wouldn't accept from others, and so. It's a good teacher after all.