For many of the Weekly Battle Features for the Splinterlands Weekly Challenge you will see mostly battles that are winners for the person posting! I'm no different, it is nicer to write about how you were a tactical genius rather than the person getting stomped on!
However, for this week... I could resist writing about this hilarious battle that ended up going bad on me... it is just too funny to not share!
The Silvershield Assassin is one of the new cards that have started appearing in the Life Splinter... Following the tradition of the Life Splinter being the boring do-gooder splinter, they have followed the traditional naming system of Silvershield "Blah"... Silvershield Warrior, Silvershield Archer, Silvershield Tank, Silvershield Sneak, Silvershield Damage Sponge...
Well, at least with this naming system, you are pretty clear on what the card does... the Silvershield Assassin is a card that is pretty high mana (at 7 mana) and I am lucky enough to have drawn a Gold Foil version... which I'm keeping for the moment as it is more powerful than the vanilla cards that I have. However, as soon as the vanilla card levels up... I'm dumping this guy! There's a bit of ruthless loyalty for you...
This was a particularly low mana game with the Magic cards out of play... and there was only the option of the Splintershield Life Splinter or the non-Splintershield Earth Splinter. I figured I would go for the Life Splinter in the hopes of snagging a cool game to feature for this post... well, I got a game that I would feature... but less cool, and more face-palm funny...
Seeing as the Magic cards are out of play... I thought I would go with a clever and sneaky attack on the back... whilst the Lord Arianthus card would hold the front line, just being passive aggressive and making the enemy team hurt themselves... meanwhile, the Silvershield Assassin would start to whittle away at the enemy team from the back, and before they knew it... I would have taken out their team from the soft back end...
What sort of maniac plays a Melee Self Healing Tank at the back of their team?!?!?!?!.... The Flesh Golem on the other team heals 4 health per turn and can't hit me... My Silvershield Asssassin causes two hits of 2 damage each turn for a total of 4 damage... our two Lord Arianthus tanks stare at each other across the battlefield...
This is the most hilariously epic fail of a battle... each round ends up back at the beginning... I hit for 4 damage, he heals 4 damage and nothing else happens... this is as riveting as watching Test cricket!
Anyway, if you are curious... after 20 rounds of the same thing happening... fatigue starts to set in for the monsters, with every monster card losing 1 health then 2 health then 3 health per round until there is no one left. Unfortunately for me, armour doesn't protect against this decay... and so the +1 health from the Earth Splinter Summoner comes into play... My cards just have less health than the other team plus no healing ability... and so, I'm roundly defeated by everyone just getting tired and falling over.
Well... sometimes you try to be a smartarse and pick up a sneaky win... and sometimes you try to be a smartarse and fall flat on your face! It's hilarious... but somewhat painful! However, in my defence... WHO THE HELL PLAYS FLESH GOLEM AT THE BACK!?!?!?!?!??!
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Upgoats by ryivhnn
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