Hmmmm... it seems like I'm reaching a stage of my life where I'm being asked more and more to be a reference for when people are applying for jobs/auditions/applications. Most of the time, I'm more than happy to provide a reference... I know that lots of people have done the same for me, and I feels good to help someone out...
... but most of those people are probably like me. They have really agonised over whether or not to ask someone to do them this favour, and they have really thought about how they have interacted in the past.
Sadly, not all of the reference requests have come with that sort of self-awareness and diligence... and I have had to field awkward requests when I think that I would clearly NOT recommend someone, either on the basis of their ability, but more often due to their complete unreliability or inability to work well with others.
Now, for the ability part, I have a bit less of a problem with that... as there most of the references are more to do with character and the non-musical side of things. The music stuff is tested in audition anyway...
But the softer side of things, for character and all the rest of that is impossible to test for in an audition... but in many ways, they are more critical skills. Sadly, the unreliable people are often the ones that are most blithely unaware that they are unreliable... they always have an excuse for everything, and are often completely unaware that they put everyone else into a spin in order to get things working.
I still haven't really found a way to field these awkward requests... I find it hard to say "no" directly... and when I have said "yes", I am always telling the truth of what I think when I am asked... that said, not many places do end up contacting the references. There is usually more than enough to get around based on reputation... in the freelance world, word does get around pretty damn quickly if someone is either highly reliable or the complete opposite.
Sometimes, I've been lucky, and I can claim certain conflicts of interest... never really sure if the conflict of interest is real, but it there and potentially can be a problem if you chose to be nit-picky about it all...
Sigh.... I do wish there was an easier way to say "no"... I really hate being put in that position where I can't actually recommend a particular person.
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