Lately I've been struggling to get over this hump with an elusive origin. I've been trying hard to piece the parts of my mind together, in a bid to bring out some sense or a logical deduction as to why I feel this way but so far, nothing tangible comes to mind.
It started some days ago, during one of my introspective sojourns, and has pervaded my mind ever since. I have worries that I can't describe, now rationalise, and I think that is right at the top of my worry list. It is probably a phase where my worries are in a hurry, but it all feels too real and quite scary sometimes.
The problem with being in this mental state is that helplessness of not knowing if you're sick, and if sick, what remedy to be taken. I'm rambling on and on about a feeling I can't place my finger on, and I have been going around in these familiar circles since the inception of the malaise.
Every day feels like the previous one and I constantly feel like I'm in a race against time. I feel like my problems are compounding no matter how much I try to simplify them, and that I'll probably never have enough time to sort them all out, so why bother. I feel like I'm talking to myself but I'm not listening, so these feelings I feel just dissipate into the most importance nonsense in history.
I talked to my girlfriend about it and she thinks I should try switching up my life a little bit. That perhaps making marginal changes will aid my plight. I'm going out of my way and uncharacteristically trying the new things out by magnetizing the specks of joy in material possessions that I can afford.
The anxiety is still a very strong presence, and it hovers ominously over my life, like a constant reminder of my nadir. A problem shared, is a problem half solved, and so I hope this partial solution could result in clearing my mind of this affliction. I want it out of my head, and most importantly, I want to be happy at the end of the day.