If there is one thing I avoid so well is stress. I do not like to be stressed mentally, physically, and even emotionally. I have come to terms with the fact that I do not function very well when I am stressed. I could be going through an emotional breakdown but then it would affect me in every area. So I try my best to avoid anything that would stress me in one way or another.
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Most Relationships are sometimes good while others are sometimes terrible. It could be friendship, siblings, lovers. In one way or another, we tend to build relationships in every area of our lives. No man is an island. No matter how introverted you are, there are people who you have a relationship with. So either way as we walk through life and its hurdles we build relationships and we also lose some relationships. Some relationships build us while some aim at making us terrible.
I have had several relationships even as a child and I have lost some, most times in the other person’s story I am the bad person and honestly, I don’t care. I always say to myself that I will put my mental health in front no matter what. I would prefer to lose a relationship than to lose myself and my peace. So either way I am grateful for the things I have lost and also the things I have gained.
I was in a relationship during my Tertiary school days, I think during my Final year. When we first started dating it was really beautiful and the memories were lovely. We would share some time and create memories. Most times we would visit the cinema, sometimes go on dinner dates, and also attend family gatherings together. It was a beautiful relationship while it lasted.
Towards the time when we drifted apart, there was a high level of insecurity, no matter how much I assured him, he just couldn’t let go of the fact that maybe when I went out, there would be someone way better than he was and I might just want to leave. To me, it wasn’t so, therefore I tried my best to let him know that it was just him at that point.
The Insecurity became worse and it was frustrating me at one point, when I got accused of doing things I didn’t do, or when I went out, I would have to send pictures of where I was and even who I was with. I once had an outing with my girls and I told him I would be out. When I was out, he kept calling via video call just to make sure there wasn’t a guy there and I was with my girls.
Like I said earlier, I am never in for anything that would stress me, we both tried making it work out but it just didn’t, so I had to call it off which took some time for both parties to heal but I am glad I did because at a point the relationship felt toxic and maybe seemed like an obsession which I am scared of. Turns out, we are adults now and have nothing against ourselves but then we realize that this relationship can never work.
I love relationships but then I will cut off a relationship or a friendship that is going to stress me or make me look like I am not trying. Having a great relationship with people is cool when it’s not toxic or making you lose yourself.
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