I finally decided to take a late-night walk alone just around the estate, I felt stressed out and just needed to do something to get my mind off so many things. It appeared like staying indoors would make me feel worse so I decided to take a walk. It was quiet and very calm, the cloud appeared to be very soothing and beautiful. I couldn't help but ask myself a series of questions and pondered on so many things.
How does it feel when you are down and you need someone around?
How do people without friends and family members cope when they are sick mentally, physically, or emotionally?
I can’t help but imagine how terrible it is for them. Well, this is me right now. I have been so stressed from work for some days now and it eventually resulted to me falling sick but I just needed to stay strong.
Running back home to my mom whenever I fell sick was what I was good at when I was in the same city as her. I did my high school and college very close to home so I had the opportunity to go back home to my mom whenever I was sick and needed someone to take care of me.
Currently, things have changed as I am very far from home, and going back home will cost me a lot, way more than what would be needed to take care of myself right now. I have to be a big girl and go through this.
It’s been so exhausting. The stress from every area is kicking in and I can’t just wait for this to be all over so I can go home to my mom even if it’s only for a few days.
I am starting to learn how to live by myself, it hasn’t been easy but I think I am getting used to it.
I am so envious of people who can take care of themselves properly. I am still trying to do this. I must say it hasn’t been easy but I think with time I will get used to taking care of myself.
I woke up yesterday sick, I had to go to the hospital alone as there was no one to take me since I stayed alone and my roommate is done with her service year and has gone back to meet her family.
I was so thankful that I found my way to the hospital before it became severe. At least I am a bit better now.
I kept thinking how I would have been able to run back home if I had been closer to my parents.
People who started staying all by themselves from an early age truly deserve some accolades cause I want to know how they were able to cope when things like this happened. At some point, I had wished I had superpowers so I could be able to teleport to my family home and teleport around back here.
It might take some time but soon I will get used to it and will not need to think of my mum or dad when I am sick. But right now all I can say is “I need my mummy”. I know sounding like this makes me seem like a baby but trust me when I say I am not a baby. But this adulthood is a new phase for me.
Guess who is handling this Adult phase just fine? Not me though, I’m still finding my way.
All Images used are mine except otherwise stated
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