Hello great hivers all over.
You are welcome to my blog, greetings!
It's the start of a new week and I trust we are well rested and geared up for the tasks ahead.
Something happened at my church this morning that inspired me to pen my thoughts.
A mother after spanking her 5 year old son because he wanted more snacks and he was wailing loudly, causing a ruckus and distracting the service, took him outside and said to him.......
"If I hear pim, I will show you shege"
I was outside the church auditorium trying to organize the children's department for their presentation, when I witnessed the scene.
It got me thinking "Why do Nigerian mothers do this because I quickly recalled that my mum had always been saying the same thing to me as a child, to prevent me from crying further".
I mean you spank a child, allow the child cry na, no no no our Nigerian mothers will not o.
If I hear pim I go show you shege means......if you I hear that crying sound from you, I will deal with you mercilessly
Alas, I guess it does the trick as the child will then be seen trying to suppress his sobs amidst the pain.
Mummy why na.......?
Mummy will cut eye for you (wink) and expect you to fully understand the non verbal communication or you will collect wototo (you will get hot beating).
I remember one time, I was quite young about 6 to 7 years old. My mum's colleague cum friend had come to see her at home for the very first time.
She was referred to as aunty Moji and that fateful Saturday, she knocked on our door and I being the eldest child ran to
open the door.
"Good morning ma", I greeted.
"Good morning fine girl, she responded. Is your mummy at home?"
Yes I replied gleefully.
"Ok go tell her that aunty Moji is here to see her, she instructed".
Ok ma, and off I went like Usain bolt to call my mummy for her.
*Mummy, an aunty Moji is here to see you, I said. *
Ok, tell her I will be with her soon, mum said.
I did as told and stayed in the sitting room with aunty Moji to continue watching my television program.
A little while later my mum joined her friend in the sitting room (fondly called parlour) and they got chatting.
I just sat there and continued watching my program oblivious to all the cutting eye that my mum was sending my way. Then she sent me to go buy Malta Guinness for aunty Moji while she went in to serve her food.
I rushed back to give the malt drink to aunty Moji because I wanted to continue watching my television program.
Aunty Moji amidst chatting with my mum, was eating her food and later she called to me to come and carry out the tray which contained some unfinished rice and malt.
I need you guys to know that back in the day, elders usually leave aside a portion of their meal for the children of the house, so it was quite normal.
So when aunty Moji called me to come and carry out her food, my heart leaped for joy and a broad smile could be seen on my face.
In my state of ecstasy,I never realized that my mum was cutting eyes for me (giving me a warning look). I gallantly walked to the kitchen with the food, sat on a small chair and devoured the food. When I was done, I pushed it down with the malt. That was a good day for me o, I swear.
If only I could see the future, I would have known of the storm and avoided it.
After aunty Moji left, my mum called me to the bedroom and the enquiries began....
"Where did you keep the remaining food, my mum asked me sternly".
Em...em....em, I ... I put it in ....in the .....
I stammered like a she-goat on heat.
"Come on answer me now before I slap your face, she screamed at me"
Immediately, I was cured of my stammering and I told her that I ate it in the kitchen and also drank the malt.
As I said malt, a loud sound was heard. Behold it was my mum's palm hitting my face.
Chai, that slap was badass, I swear
I began to bawl and then she said....
"Oya, hold your lips quick, if I hear pim,I will show you you shege. When I was telling you not to touch the food why didn't you listen"?
With teary eyes, running nose and a shaky voice, I said ...no ma,you did not tell me o, boohoo, hoohoo, I kept crying.
"Shut up, see your mouth like a cement mixer. It's only food you know. Why didn't you look at me to see the signals I was giving off, so that you will know what to do. If you try this kind of thing next time, I will beat you black and blue. Oya, now go to your room and sleep"
I ran as my little legs could carry me to my room, laid on the bed and sobbed some more. Soon enough I slept off and dreamt of eating rice with malt (chai,when will I learn).
Had my mum told me in plain language instead of cutting eyes, I would have been saved from badass slap.
Anyways I learnt my lesson oo, no more rnant food for me again. I also stayed far from sight anytime a visitor is at our house to avoid stories that touch.
Why mummy.......why didn't you speak plainly?
Why mummy....why don't you let us cry, seeing that you beat us up?
Someone should tell me if there is a court to address this case because even education cannot undo it
I humbly rest my case.
Image used by tenor.
Thanks for your time on my blog
Shalom
