Pleasant greetings everyone!
Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamt of having a glamorous wedding ceremony just like Cinderella, in the movie. I was always moved everytime I watched the climax, the part where prince charming married her before the whole kingdom and her pets were throwing flowers all over them, that part always moves me to tears.
Photo by Luis Quintero from pexels
This dream didn't wane in my heart but my reality check came when I grew older and began to witness marriages crashing painfully in just a few years of take off.
I witnessed couples who were once seemingly inlove, inseparable and on cloud nine, tear themselves apart and seek a divorce.
Then I would ask myself, "Where did the love they promised to share forever travel to?"
Then I began my research simply for answers to why a beautiful journey would end without reaching it's bloom. I had perceived marriage as a beautiful and wholesome affair, the merging of hearts, bodies and souls...how sweet! So I was not happy with the fact that many marriages were crashing.
From my discoveries, I realized that Love is good but its not enough to sustain a marriage. Other factors play an important role in making a marriage blossom and last long.
Then again I thought that maybe money was the problem. Probably the man was stingy or he was unable to provide for his family and all that but I was shocked to discover that even wealthy people encounter such. "If the money is there, why did the marriage hit rock bottom?" I kept thinking to myself. These thoughts made me probe deeper into the necessary factors needed to sustain a marriage cos "love" and "money" alone are not enough.
I would like to use a house to illustrate my findings on why neither love nor money is not enough on their own to sustain a marriage.
You see, when building a house, it's necessary to dig a strong foundation, love is that foundation. It's love that unites the heart and bring two people together to marry.
Next is Trust which I consider to be the pillars. Without mutual trust in any relationship, such relationship will be filled with doubt and suspicion and this will lead to the relationship being destroyed.
Then we have ""Affection** which I refer to as the door that grants access to the entire house. Affection should not stop after kids start coming into the picture. The kids are to be trained while the spouse is to be adored.
I marvel at how quickly some wives pass on their husbands affection to the kids and forget about their husbands. A wise woman once explained it to me, she said
Your kids will grow up to start their own family and leave the house, only the husband and wife will be left to themselves. What would happen then?
I gleaned so much truths from these words, especially when I learnt that a 56 year old woman divorced her husband. Her claim was that they were both like strangers and had no affection for each other. Their kids were grown and married and the house feels so lonely. These were her reasons for asking for a divorce... how pitiful.
Understanding is another key factor that I refer to as the roof. We all have a past, it is the responsibility of the spouse to protect their partners and deal with them with understanding.
Respect serves as the walls of the house. Both husband and wife should have mutual respect for themselves, seeking to treat the other partner better because they'll have a good reward.
Money serves as all the furnishings and accessories needed to beautify the house. Money is a necessity in marriage to beautify the marriage.
The last factors I will be looking at are Honesty and accountability. Each spouse needs to be honest with their partners, no hiding to receive phonecalls or restricting your partner access to your phone.
Also, being accountable to your partner, is vital. Where you're going, what you'll be doing and all that, should be told to each other. This will help dispel doubts and suspicion.
Money is good, infact it answers all things and Love is superb, but these alone cannot guarantee a fulfilled marriage. The factors I stated are Paramount ingredients to a successful marriage.
Thank you all for reading.