My best discoveries

Growing up, there was only one man I wanted to be around; he made me feel safe and loved, helped me grow and develop, celebrated my success and helped me learn from my failure; even now I recall so strongly the way he made me feel so happy. He was my father.

He left me when I was eleven years old, he was terribly sick with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma and one day I was pulled out of school, taken to the hospital and told to say goodbye; that was the last time I ever saw him and I was devastated. The man in my life was gone, I was devastated and I never wanted to feel that way again; it was horrific for a long time and yet over time I remembered how he'd made me feel, all the good times, and part of me wondered if I would ever feel that way again.

Today I was thinking about the #weekend-engagement topics and the one about my best discovery stood out to me. I immediately thought of my man, the guy in my life, the light of my adult life, and how he's been my best discovery; him and the journey of discovery we've both been on since meeting.

I know I had a child's perception of my father and he was so much more than I saw in him, but in the eleven years of my life in which he was alive he showed me what it was to be a true man; it might sound clichéd but in my guy I often see my dad, the same drive and determination, the fierce loyalty and need to do the right thing, his protective and caring nature, his generosity and so much more; in my guy I discovered a real man. In the time I've been with him he's helped me discover who I am as a woman and partner and he's helped me build what I look on as an amazingly fulfilling life. Thinking back to that eleven year old me I remember thinking my life would be misery.

My best discovery...I don't have just one. I think the discovery of how those initial eleven years of my life and the care, attention and influence my father showed me helped me become who I am as an adult; that my dad wasn't there through much of it doesn't matter, he gave me the tools to take me forward into life and be the woman who discovered and nurtured love with a man who I feel my father would have liked and been proud of, just like I am of him.