I feel like family topics aren't discussed enough in the entrepreneurship space. I believe in the importance of taking away time for family and friends. This can be a difficult topic because at times friends and families are often the ones that are holding us back from achieving our dreams and goals. Nonetheless, it is important to take time to establish these essential relationships. At times trying to communicate effectively with a stubborn friend or family member can feel like pulling teeth, but bear through it because it is a necessary part of the growth process.
Let us start with family first. There is a lot of personal feelings and emotions involved when it comes to confronting family members. This process is necessary for you to be able to mature as an individual, it will eventually help you in your leadership before establishing your own business as well. The work of an entrepreneur is a difficult and lonely journey, specifically because it comes with no immediate rewards. Since this is the generation of instant gratification, the art of patience becomes a liability instead of an asset. Don’t consider it odd when people close to you seem to think that you have gone over to the deep end. Depending on the scenario it is sometimes necessary to put a distance on the family members that are a negative influence or holding you back.
The question is how far is too far? Well, I have learned that it is better to over-communicate when it comes to family and be clear. Never leave room for assumptions and speculations, always confront issues head-on before it blows up in your face. It's better to feel uncomfortable about confronting a family situation than to never speak and ignore the elephant in the room. For example, me and 2 out of 3 of my younger siblings live relatively close to each other. We try to make it a habit to see each other at least once a week. Some days are more difficult than others because of our conflicting schedules but we all unanimously make an intentional effort to see or speak to each other.
The constant intent to see or speak to each other allows for constant communication in case there is anything that needs to be discussed. It isn’t easy, but it is a battle that must be confronted. I'd love to say that I offer my family members an opportunity to speak about what is going on and that I offer a listening ear but that isn't the case. Sometimes I talk too much and never let the other person speak because I may feel that I need to be heard. Sometimes it is better to stay quiet and analyze, and that is something that I continue to strive for. Sometimes you will not necessarily get your family members to talk to you because you may have a proudful or stubborn sibling or spouse that just doesn't want confrontation. You can't control if a person wants to talk or not, the most important thing is just to have the opportunity to talk available. So over communication is key when dealing with family and being humble enough to learn to change your attitude when necessary.
Now for our friends. These are usually the ones that are closer than our own family. These are the people that know our deepest darkest secrets. Do you know who your people of influence are? If you haven’t done so already I recommend you do this. Make a list of all your friends, no not your Facebook friends, your actual friends that you can be real with. The ones that you spend most of your time with. Now make a list of only the top 5 friends that you spend the most time with. Out of all those 5 friends, are any of them in a position you want to be in 5 years? Are they doing what you dream of doing? Are their goals similar to your goals? Are their interests your interests?
Once you have narrowed down your top 5 now its time to identify it they are either a positive influence or a negative influence. You will know if your top 5 friends are of positive influence (good friends) if they are like minded as you, and are willing to teach you how to succeed as well as encourage you in your own unique journey to success. Good friends may not be available all the time but are there for the times that count. Good friends will encourage you and support you in every way possible in your journey. Good friends will teach you how to grow and offer their resources and time to help you grow. Good friends never talk about your personal disclosed information with anyone else without your permission. You will never be a carbon copy of your top 5 friends, the point is that you will eventually copy and paste some attributes that you like and apply it to your life.
Top 5 friends of negative influence (bad friends) are individuals that don't want you to succeed, are usually self-centered, and always onesided. Bad friends always expect something in return. Bad friends do not motivate or encourage you to be better. They are envious of your aspirations or trash you when you try and achieve something greater. Bad friends may even be successful but don't offer you any advice or steps on how to achieve financial freedom. Point is bad friends can often be the largest deterrence to a person's untapped potential.
It doesn’t matter if you have known your best friend since you were in diapers. If he or she isn’t going where you want to go then cut them out of your top 5 for that person will only weigh you down. It may seem cold-hearted and at times selfish, but I look at friendships in the long term. If you cannot help yourself, you are more than likely not going to help me get to my destination. I will never cut relationships out of my life because I don't believe in burning bridges, however, the top 5 people that influence me has changed with time, my top 5 today may not be my top 5 three or 5 years from now. Those individuals that are at the top 5 need to be more experienced than me, need to correct me when I’m wrong and need to encourage me in my dreams and goals. As I grow so do my dreams and goals. I need people that will lead me to grow with time. Those are the type of individuals that I recommend you keep at your top 5 friends list.
