In life, many of us have people we look up to. Sometimes it could be a mentor, a friend, a family member, or even a boss at work. We admire them because of how they carry themselves, the way they think, or how they inspire us to keep going. But the truth is, human beings are not perfect, and sometimes the very person you respect the most can say something that changes the way you see them forever.
For me, that moment came with someone I used to admire deeply, my former boss. When I first started working under him, I saw him as a man of great wisdom. He was hardworking, smart, and seemed to always have answers to everything. I even told myself, “If I want to grow in my career, this is someone I should learn from.” I admired how confident he was and how he managed situations at the office.
But everything changed one afternoon during a casual office conversation. A junior staff member, a young lady fresh out of school, shared an idea during a meeting. It was actually a brilliant idea that could have helped the company grow. Instead of encouraging her or at least correcting her politely, my boss laughed and said, “You’re a woman, don’t stress yourself too much. Just focus on marrying well, ideas like this are for men to push.”
The words hit me like a heavy stone. At first, I thought maybe he was joking, but the expression on his face showed he meant every bit of it. Everyone in the room laughed awkwardly, but I could see the disappointment on that young lady’s face. In that moment, my respect for him dropped instantly.
I realized that no matter how intelligent or hardworking he was, his mentality was flawed. How can a leader, someone I looked up to, dismiss a person’s intelligence simply because of gender? I had always believed that both men and women have the right to dream, to speak, and to contribute, so hearing that from him shook me.
From that day, I stopped seeing him as my role model. Yes, he still had good qualities, but I could not continue admiring someone whose mindset did not align with my core beliefs. I believe respect should go beyond titles, it should be built on values.
That experience also taught me something important: we should never place human beings on a pedestal. People are human, and they will disappoint us one way or the other. It is good to admire others, but we must always hold on to our own values and beliefs.
Looking back now, I am even grateful that I heard those words. It made me more conscious of the kind of leader I want to be. I want to be someone who lifts others, encourages voices, and does not shut people down because of their gender, background, or social status.
At the end of the day, I learned that when it comes to role models, actions and mentality matter more than achievements. Because no matter how high someone has climbed, if their words break the dreams of others, then they are not worth looking up to.
Images are mine
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