Maybe it’s the biting cold that has settled in for the season .. Or the lack of sunshine during these short days. Perhaps it’s the sight of my dear Vanda orchid finishing its bloom cycle and shedding all its flowers. Or maybe it’s the looming milestone of turning 50 .. Half A Century! Whatever the reason, I’ve found myself in a bit of a mood lately. Not a stormy, angry mood, but more of a blah, no-motivation, mildly-depressed type of vibe.
I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching as my birthday approaches .. Thinking about where I want to be in the next 5 to 10 years. Retirement is a frequent visitor in my thoughts—it’d be lovely if it came sooner rather than later. But, as with so much in life, that all hinges on the markets and some hefty investments I’ve made over the years. Once upon a time, watching the markets felt thrilling, almost like a game. Lately, though, it’s become a source of anxiety, a relentless cycle of notifications and over-analysis that’s less about curiosity and more about fretting over the “end game.”
Yup.. She dropped all of those beautiful flowers. Nothing good lasts forever - Like stock market bull runs.
To preserve my sanity .. (or what’s left of it!), I’ve started stepping away from those habits. Turning off app notifications and resisting the urge to monitor every little market movement has been a small but freeing step. I’m learning to let go, even if it’s not easy. Trying my best to form new daily routines and habits.
Like drinking martinis every single Friday! LOL - Just kidding - Like flossing and reading a book. hehe
Part of my restlessness is no doubt exacerbated by the lack of outdoor time. I’m craving the sun on my skin, the dirt under my nails, and the simple joy of wandering through the yard and gardens. One project I’m particularly looking forward to is building a shade house for my orchids. I had every intention of doing this last summer, but never got around to it. The thought of them spending the hot, humid summer outdoors—thriving in a more natural environment—is something that lifts my spirits.
Another spark on the horizon is painting again. I’ve had a few people ask me to create something for them, and even when I feel uninspired, the thought of those requests waiting in the wings stirs a sense of purpose. Sometimes, the right nudge is all it takes to reignite the creative flame.
I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been on my mind… a lot. But I’m hoping that once the day comes and goes, I’ll realize it’s just another trip around the sun.
Out on a 'Friday Night Date Night' enjoying the company of the best thing that ever came into my life :)
Age is, after all, just a number, and if I’m being honest, I feel pretty good for an “old fart.” Here’s to hoping my body agrees!
Before I wrap this up, I can’t end without giving Mr. Huxley a well-deserved shoutout. He’s been a constant companion, sniffing out little joys even when I’m feeling down. And speaking of joy, another one of our orchids, the Cattleya ‘Jewel Box,’ is showing promising signs of bloom activity! A flower sheath on one of its newest pseudobulbs has started pushing out a bud. The other pseudobulb that produced a flower sheath this year, is not pushing out a bud, but I am hopeful it will start in the next week or so. They have their quirks, don’t they? But I’m looking forward to those bright red blooms in the weeks ahead!
The flower sheath is the small light green leaf looking part, and the tip of the flower bud is pushing out of it
No bud pushing out of this light green flower sheath, but I'm hopeful one will soon
After the photo shoot, I put her back with her friends in the warmth and filtered sun
Naturally, Huxley had to be part of this orchid moment. I sat him beside the plant for a quick sniff and snapped a photo. He’s always curious and seems to share my fascination with these fleeting yet beautiful bursts of life. Or so I like to imagine.
Sniff Sniff Sniff
Say Cheese Huxley!
So, here’s to weathering the winter blahs, stepping away from needless worries, and looking forward to the beauty and possibilities ahead. Turning 50 may be weighing on me now, but I’m sure it’ll just be another chapter in this ever-evolving story.
Cheers to growth in orchids, in life, and in finding light even on the darkest of these winter days.
