Socialising Socialising Socialising
Ive realised over the the course of my life that socialising for the sake of socialising has always been a little frustrating for me. I am quite a sociable creature and I definitely get energised and excited by interaction but I have this inbuilt desire for it to lead to something more creative. I love collaboration. Or at least, I seem to always want it. If a social interaction isn't steadily spiralling upwards towards some sort of combined celebration of each others creative contribution, then I can start to feel a little fatigued. Its a shame, because I think it can make me in to a bit of a vulture. Instead of just being present and relaxed, I can often find myself fishing for opportunities to catalyse this sort of interaction. Its a bit like being a salesman who's never off the job even at a friends birthday party. It can leave me feeling a bit ugly and cheap if Im not careful, but of course sometimes it leads to exhilarating exchanges and potential collaborative projects. How do I reconcile this need in myself?
I have made attempts to iron it out of myself and I certainly feel calmer and more content around people than I ever used to be. I can accept that for many people, casual discourse is an important element of their lives and that it raises their social bar (like in the sims)...
...but also, I cant deny that i have a significant drive built in to the foundations of my personality and it can sometimes have a considerable effect on my own happiness and sense of joy in the world. I love creating with people, and I DON'T particularly get much from idle chat or even from intimate personal chat. So how much should I allow myself to simply accept a form of socialising that doesnt feed me or can leave me feeling a little unfulfilled. For me, I simply dont feel that Ive really connected with someone unless I have engaged in creative activity with them. This doesnt always have to be some kind of grand vision, it could even be the exploring of an idea together, but it has to feel like there is movement and growth in it or I simply run out of steam after a few interactions. I guess all this has made me a slightly mystifying element in my social circles at times and Im sure its a bit of self-defeating mechanism...but there we go, it seems to be part of me.
I don't suppose Ive made it any clearer wit this article really. Its just a frustrating personality trait that I witness in myself that even I find difficult to understand. It would be interesting if I should ever stumble up on someone else who struggles with this same subtle frustration.
I guess its why I set up my Postbeat Workshop studio and why I invite people along to collaborate. Its the most fulfilling way for me to socialise. I would love it someday if I was able to be a part of a fluid creative community wherein we all facilitate each other in our creative expression. Ive got a feeling its too much to ask and will always be just out of reach. But hey, apparently we've got to dream hey? Until such nirvana should present itself to me, I will continue finding moments in which I facilitate a pale reflection of it, and every now and then, moments of greatness are sure to abound!
today is sneaking day
Splinterlands is a play to earn card game, and every day you can complete a quest and earn a bit of currency and some cards to play with. Below are some links to battles I had today while completing my daily quest:
For ages I had the dark Ha-on but no way to heal it. But since the spirit hoarder turned up in the airdrop, Ive finally been able to utilise all those sweet death splinter debuffs to keep my Ha'on flying high
https://splinterlands.com?p=battle&id=sl_8dc9502069f90cb0fea48e890678770a&ref=basilmarples
Its fun to use Brighton Bloom in the Reverse speed ruleset because suddenly all your slowest monsters are super fast AND flying! awesome! Even better when the opponent chooses Quix and effectively gives us all a speed boost! Lol. I also had my spirit hoarder employed here to keep my wave brood bolstered but the enemy Chaos dragon took it out first time with its taunt evading scattershot. Fortunately I had River Hellondale to bring it straight back to life. Ha. This was a satisfyingly dominant victory
https://splinterlands.com?p=battle&id=sl_104a64da8a06fdf7389e1a289e59d799&ref=basilmarples
I was beaten by the biggest cube Ive ever seen! 36HP! Id forgotten to put a sneaker in there anyway so meh.
https://splinterlands.com?p=battle&id=sl_6fdd57e8952dd58d35d2f6b0d43c9d3c&ref=basilmarples
This was satisfying. I saw Alric coming a mile off so I just nerfed his magic with Thaddius and the Phantom Soldier. Again...totally forgot about my sneak quest, but ho hum
https://splinterlands.com?p=battle&id=sl_d02e8e6c0bc41b73d2f4fa9d74ffc58e&ref=basilmarples
Ha! Two can play at the large cube game! Although...mine was no-one near as large as in that earlier battle. But Ive always appreciated the cube when it comes to earthquake rulesets or the poison ones. Its a bit of a beast with that lv6 self heal
https://splinterlands.com?p=battle&id=sl_4a81a01625d82ee324bdcfcdb57d00dc&ref=basilmarples
Right Im off.
Got more socialising to do.
Breathe. Its ok. Nothing has to come of it.
People are people.
Chats are Chats.
Just let it go.
There'll be plenty of time for creative satisfaction as my consciousness blends in to the recursive fractality of eternity. Oh wait...thats whats already happening.
Wait.....
....Is this it?
