Heads in hand, I had no other choice than to check my brain every minute to see if it is still there.
You won't have to blame me much, Nigerian Governments are just too good to their citizens and I can't help but be fortunate I was born and bred here. Trust me, there is zero sarcasm here.
Politics is a fair game, I mean, politicians end up shaking themselves and smiling after winning though, unfortunately, the system is beautiful for the citizens.
The smiles of politicians are so real that it will be no mystery if you end up not having wrinkles in your old age. Nigerian politicians make you smile endlessly with their schemes.
Have you ever heard words that always make the citizens happy? Hehe... There are tons of them.
Nigeria is a full-blooded comedy station and according to wise people among us, it is said that even the creator of heaven and earth tunes to our station Nigeria when He is bored of other countries and needs a good laugh. How fortunate we are to be blessed with that opportunity, don't you think?
I mean, it is hard not to laugh especially when the Nigerian Governments are truthful.
"Snake swallowed money; Rat destroyed the documents that are needed to prove that help came in from other countries during COVID-19; Fire blazed off important documents and all others".
Now tell me, aren't those words beautiful? I won't be mad if you end up getting jealous because you aren't a Nigerian reading this. I know you yearn to be here.
Speaking of being a Nigerian, I can't say if I will be a Nigerian for long. It won't be surprising if the Chinese Empire takes over. I heard our loving Governments borrowed some little money from them and mind you, they are still borrowing more. How fortunate of us. All I need now is a Chinese name. How does "Baliwang" sound? Quite a pretty name, don't you agree?
Now, what brought me here, I know you have been dying to know why $700 million is needed to fix the Presidential villa known as Aso Rock.
Screenshot from my phone
You see, a celebrity wants to take over this month and that's why the money is needed. Try understanding.
Finally, the country's President-elect will be sworn in, and the old cargo will be let out. I guess you understand why that little money is needed? You have to.
Aso rock needs to be fixed. I know it may sound ridiculous. But no war happened in the Villa to warrant such an amount to fix it and neither is the old cargo trying to leave the country with more debt. Please, no. Don't get him wrong. Just don't.
The president just wants to make sure that everything is good. Besides, the citizens are swimming in money, and hearing the sound of that little money makes them all happy and prouder to be in the country. But, if you tend to think otherwise, that means you are jealous and I won't have to blame you.
PS: This post was written with the thought of applauding the Nigerian Government. There is absolutely no sarcastic use of words as the post is written with a heart filled with great love and respect for the country.
I think my nose is getting longer, but I am not lying... Am I?
This is my reply to the COMtest contest.
Still yours truly,
Balikis(Baliwang)
Thanks for reading.
Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.
