"Grandma, how did you do it?" Anita asked, staring at her grandma with a puzzled look.
"Hmm..." Her grandma, Ma Teresa, responded halfly as she focused on her knitting.
"I don't know. I just have this question always popping up in my mind, "Am I a fool for dreaming?." Anita questioned as she rested her head on her grandma's lap.
Letting out a huge sigh, Ma Teresa gave a deep look at her knitting and her granddaughter before deciding it was better to sort whatever her granddaughter's dilemma was first.
Gently touching Anita's hair, Ma Teresa spoke with a smile. "No one is ever a fool for dreaming, my precious looloo. You just have to believe and work toward it." She responded.
"But it is hard to do that these days. Things seem to be better in your days, grandma. Finding love was better, but these days, it isn't. Every time I see you and Grandpa and how you both enjoy each other's company, respect, and love each other, I can't help but feel this love and then sadness in my heart. Though I dream about finding mine, I don't see it happening anytime soon." Anita responded.
"Love is never easy. But when you find it, you'll surely feel it. We all have our troubles during our days. You just have to start with loving yourself first, pamper yourself, and do what you dream your partner could do for you. Be that lover you'd wish your partner is, and the light of yours will find you." Grandma Teresa replied.
"I don't understand, grandma... you speak in parables." Anita said, sitting upright with her face toward her grandma.
Smiling deeply, Ma Teresa touched the scarf she was knitting with so much affection. "I had my fair share in love as well. Before I met your grandpa, I was broken in love. My ex-boyfriend then cheated on me, and I hated myself for it. I thought I was the one who pushed him toward that because I never agreed to the deep intimacy he wanted. That made me believe I was the one that pushed him out..."
Chuckling deeply, Ma Teresa shook her head. "For years, I lived in misery because I believed so much in love, and I thought I threw away my love. I was lost and thought I didn't deserve to be loved anymore until one day. Maybe it was because I spent time staring at the moon that night, I couldn't say. All I knew was that, when I woke up the next day, I felt a dim light of happiness in me. When I stood up to check the mirror, I saw how I looked. I couldn't believe who I saw. It wasn't the lady I was years ago. I looked dull, unkempt, and wasn't myself. It was then I knew...I knew I had starved myself of love and maybe it was the last light of love in me that was about to die that used its last breath to remind me of who I was and my belief that true love respects you. It is kind, caring, and ready to grow. When I looked at my past relationship, I got to know that wasn’t present even in me and that because all I did was to look for it in another person."
Holding on Anita's hands, Ma Teresa smiled. "That day, I didn't hate myself anymore. Instead, I started loving myself. I took care of my health, respected myself, and even appreciated everything I did. I met your grandpa a week later under the moonlight... shining so brightly that my heart skipped with joy and because I couldn't hold that happiness in more like refused to hold it in I found myself smiling at him and he smiled back at me. It was a beautiful sight to behold. A memory worth remembering. That was how it all began. Our love story. He also went through a painful relationship. But we both never gave up on love. Our past relationships taught us to respect, adore, be kind, and be the best of ourselves." Grandma Teresa said, giving Anita's hand a slight squeeze.
"So, I am not a fool for dreaming about having an amazing love life like you two." Anita questioned?
"No, you are not. Always know that every amazing love story has its flaws. But they decided to embrace, learn, and continue growing in love. You'll surely find someone that would give you that love and be ready to give him double of whatever he gives." Ma Teresa replied with a chuckle. "Now, allow me to finish up the scarf I am making for my lover." Ma Teresa added.
"Why do you always hide yourself when making grandpa a scarf every year? He knows you will always knit him a scarf." Anita asked.
"He does know, but that doesn't stop him from being surprised at getting a new one every year. He loves it, and I love knitting for him, too." Ma Teresa responded. "Now, off you go. I need to add a small finish to this, and I need concentration. I'll join you all soon for Thanksgiving day preparation." Ma Teresa added.
Nodding her head in approval, Anita stood up and left her Grandma alone in the small garden house she always hid herself in on the night before Thanksgiving to finish her Grandpa's knitting.
Glancing over her shoulders, Anita wore a huge smile. It has become a tradition of both hers and her Grandma for the past 18 years now after she had first seen her in the garden house when she was 6 years old.. Ever since then, she would sit with her grandma as she knits while asking her different questions, and her grandma's words have always helped her solve whatever it was.
Hurrying back through the back door to help her parents, Grandpa, cousins and nephews with Thanksgiving cooking, Anita knew that her Grandma's word of life experience would always guide her as long as she worked toward it, believed it and acted on it. Her love will surely find her one day.
