The best part of being a Dad is seeing your children happy and enjoying their lives. Being a husband is satisfying when your wife tells you you're the best in all aspects. Seeing my children happy makes me more stronger and more eager to persue on life. My wife always saying I love you makes me feel special and important. All those things makes me stand up everyday to keep going. But sometimes there are some things that could make me weak and lifeless. Like what I feel for the past few days.
When I'm sick and someone says, don't worry you'll get better soon, I feel better and think positive. It changes a few days ago after knowing the result of my CT Scan that I have something severe damage that has no cure. Then I heard to my Doctor yesterday says, you're correct, what you've read on the internet about your sickness is true. It has no cure, but don't loose hope! You'll not gonna die that easy, you're just prone to other sickness especially lung diseases. Then she gave prescriptions to remove mucus to my lungs and said take all that. Then starting today you need to protect yourself at all times. Avoid crowded people, wear face mask at all times whenever you go out from home. You should always take vitamins and should have vaccines injections after your medication.
When we arrived home I went to the bedroom to change my clothes then my wife followed and hug me tight and cried and keep on saying I love you. She said she's afraid of loosing me and she's afraid of raising our kids alone. We both know I'm not gonna die sooner and I'm not gonna die that easy. Then she wipes her tears and go out the room showing are kids there's nothing wrong. But the words "no cure" keeps running into our minds which makes us worry all times.
Now I'm here in Manila again after arriving lastnight and going back to overnight work again. I'm on the apartment's room while writing this. I already slept for 4 hours but I know it's not enough to go back to work later. My Doctors advice is to look for a job with a morning shift to lessen the risk of health problems. I'm still thinking about it and trying to compose on my mind what will I write to my resignation letter. I still don't know what exactly to do. I'm still trying to fight this anxiety I feel. Life is no easy when you're sick especially when it has no cure. I hope I could get through all this.