I have always thought of time as an ally, because I believe in the good graces of the flow of the universe. Time is the tool for this flow, the tool we have devised to help us stay in control and make sense of things. We have embraced the idea of order as a result of time we have also accepted the course of the unknown because we also can't tell time.
There is a dry remark or response that comes to mind right now, I say it is dry because it is an intentional misconstrual of a context.
Let's say you are having an argument with someone, and let's assume you have done something wrong to them, so they say to you "you don't know tomorrow" and you say to them " oh I do know tomorrow and it's Wednesday" . See what I mean? This reply is obviously out of context but it makes sense. And I'd use it to introduce the different concepts and meanings of time.
Time is the beginning, the course and the end of life. Time in this context is the indeterminate flow of existence, from the inception of life, the present, the past and into the uncertain future. The intangible progression of our time in this space, to which there is no end, one which the knowledge of the beginning also eludes us. We don't know how it started, we just found ourselves here and quickly embraced it.
While time is limitless as there is ever an abundance of it, it is also limited because every one has their days numbered, so this uncertain wave eventually comes to an end for all of us, and when that happens it continues to run through the course.
The other variation of time, I say variation because it all stems from the same wave. This one is more like a tool which the early people created to help navigate the era and point of existence based on measured days, weeks and years. I think of it as a way of containing and rationing the broad concept of time. This concept is a crazy one I have always wondered about. Apparently we operate with the same flow, the same calendar and schedule, we all function by the same standard of timing, a concept manufactured by the Western culture, but some other cultures have different timelines and durations when it comes to measuring the passing of time.
For example, the Igbo people measure their weeks differently. Instead of seven days we have four market days- Eke, Orie, Afor, Nkwo. Another instance is most parts of the Igbo mark their one year trip around the sun around the months of July, August and September. This was the predominant system for my people before the Gregorian calendar eclipsed it.
For DREEMPORT WOTW CHALLENGE, I have decided to share five lessons time has taught me.
1. EVERYTHING IS MADE UP.
Everything we do, all our indoctrinations, cultures and values are all made up. Nothing is real and anything can become the reality of a vast majority. While I have no choice but to exist among these made up stuff, I am aware that not everything has to make sense to me and I definitely don't have to agree with everything nor operate by the standard of the world. I believe in making up my own reality and rules but at the center of my believe and existence is love. A wise woman once said to me "...put love in the middle and traject from there." I have held on to these because I never want to find myself in a situation where Love is not relatable.
With the passing of time comes the evolution of our thoughts, ideas, beliefs and structures. Times are constantly changing the course of our existence; so something that is considered the blueprint today could become dated dated in the next few years and everyone moves on to the next flow. If everything is made up then it is unhealthy to limit ourselves to the rigidity of the system of operations.
2. MOVE WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF COURAGE AND HONESTY.
I have lived many lives and the ones I liked most were the ones where I was courageous and didn't care about performing. I have learnt that is the only way I can stay true to myself and everyone else. The experiences time gave me, has broadened my knowledge of my self and the things I want out of life, so it would be foolishness to be dishonest with myself or live in denial of who I am and could be.
I want make a reference to a quote from one of my favorite Netflix shows. This piece of art is dear to my heart and it kills me that Netflix was dumb enough to cancel it, for whatever reason. But, I appreciate it and I'm equally grateful it exists. This show is called SENSE8. It tells of a different specie of humans known as SENSE8. It is a great show so I won't add any spoilers, please go see it if you haven't.
This quote is from one of my favorite actors on the show - Nomi, actually all of them are my faves and they all kept spitting. Anyways, she says:
I find these words really powerful because we spend too much time running away from who we are for fear of being judged or because we are too afraid of what we might learn if we dared to embrace all of ourselves, and all the ways that wouldn't fit in or be acceptable. Time has taught me that none of that matters, for we can't be everything to everyone and still be true to ourselves.
3. DO NOT SUPPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS FOR FREEDOM COMES WITH VULNERABILITY.
We have been conditioned to see vulnerability as a weakness, to shy away from the feelings that leave us a little too close to despair and tears but one thing that does is make us slaves to our emotions, always afraid to feel too much or express ourselves more. Time has taught me that it is okay to be fragile and wear my heart on my sleeve.
It is okay to admit that someone hurt you badly in the most unexpected way, someone you trusted left you too broken and it is not because you failed to protect yourself, but because you didn't think to and that is the braveness in vulnerability.
I once had a hard time getting over a past romantic situation because I didn't want to admit to myself that this person had shattered my heart. It wasn't until I held my own hand and walked down that scary path that I gained a new perspective to my pain and soon let it all go like the true air sign I am. Confronting my fears and going even deeper to where it feels like it is going to kill me is my secret to a light and pure heart. It is okay to feel anything at all that comes knocking and crying often is as healthy as it gets.
4. PEOPLE MATTER, TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN.
I love people, we are so fun and chaotic and we all exist for each other.
There is a Zulu greeting I love so much - SAWUBONA, which means I SEE YOU; It further means, 'I see you therefore, I bring you to being. It embodies the recognition of the essence and dignity of a person. I am because you are, I see you therefore I bring you to being.
Just like time, people are lasting because this world is ours. Though our time here is limited but one thing is certain, there will always be people. When you find your tribe, do well to care for them and make the most of all your connections.
Taking care of your people begins with you, you have to first see yourself before you can see others and care for them in the same ways you would care for yourself, both mentally and physically.
I take care, Actually, I do my my best. I like to take care of the things and people I love. I try to leave people in good conditions and better than I met them if it is within my power to do so. Time has taught me that people get better with time so I am always willing to pour my love into my people.
5. WE ARE ALL BROKEN AND TIME DOESN'T ALWAYS HEAL.
Time is our ally, and it is great to believe that it heals all wounds but not really. Some holes you can't fill with a million tick tocks because no matter how much times passes, it'll always be there. While I have moved through life believing there is nothing I can't heal from, losing my dad has been the most humbling experience. It has been a year and I'm not even close to getting over him. I have made peace with this, it is not even about being sad anymore, it is just a stale grief that has sworn to always stick around. (Please, don't feel sorry for me.)
We are all broken, and extending the same grace we give ourselves to others would be great. It is true that we are all reacting to different things that has shaped our lives in different lights, but the truth is that no one deserves to be an emotional punching bag for you just because you are a little messed up in the head. No one is here to be on the receiving end of anyone's trauma or past hurt so deflecting to trauma in the face of accountability is not a bright move.
Time the greatest teacher, because you learn on the job from all the experiences we have been faced with and I sit here with gratitude because time has brought me a long way.
Thank you for sticking around.
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