The Jacksonville Zoo: Part 1

As part of our ongoing efforts to visit more nature-like things around the world, my wife and I took a trip to one of the regional zoos in the southeastern United States.

This particular trip brought us to Jacksonville, Florida and their not world-famous zoo. The following is part one of our natural-like encounters with non-wild predators and prey.

We started off with the bird world on our way to Africa. I'm not a big fan of birds, but they often provide some decent pictures for bum photographers like me. Other than that, I find them kind of useless to me, if I'm being completely honest.

"Dafuq, bro? That's how you're going to start things off?"

Yeah...sorry, bird. Your feathers are kind of cool, I guess. And that thing you do with your neck all stretched around to your back...that's some impressive flexibility. I know a guy with the initials "J.B." that would be totally jealous.

OK, so maybe I talk to animals and pretend that they talk back. No big deal. Everyone does it. Right?

Anyway...the colors of the feathers are nice, but the faces? Not so much. That beak is gross.

This bird is pink and white. Or maybe purple and gold. I'll let the internet decide. I think it's an albino of the same species above. I don't really know. I didn't bother asking because I don't care about birds.

For some reason, the next bird appeared to be a little happier than the others.

The longer beak meant that he didn't need to stretch his neck as far as the other birds. Perhaps that was the key factor in his happiness. Less neck cramps and less irritating itchiness on his back could contribute to the fact that these birds live to be, on average, about 145 years old.

Or was it 14.5 years old? I don't remember...and don't care.

I'm not certain, but I think this guy was some kind of duck-billed duck or something.

Finally! On to the real animals!

Oh, no...wait...it's just a big turtle. Apparently, he got wedged between a tree and a fence. Turtles are dumb.

Ugh...look at those lazy pigs!

Ah...the legendary tiger of the Serengeti! What a beautiful creature! Tigers are one of my favorite animals. This one looked a little malnourished, but the stripes are exquisite!

I think this is a bongo. You can usually find them in African forests and any place where two or more hippies have gathered.

This one looked angry and not very smart.

"Hey! I resemble that statement!"

Here is another animal with horns. He also likes grass, making him a good pairing with bongos...and hippies.

And finally, we have the ever-elusive pygmy hippopotamus.

Oh, sorry about that. This is actually his good side. And now that I think about it, this may not be a pygmy. I'm pretty sure this is a full-size hippo. You can tell because horns grow on the bigger ones.