We visited Ambros in the Sparkler World, but he affirmed his total lack of knowledge of such a creature. Could this be the real reason his species are so rare?
7491
Ambros immediately sent us the Silver Boy to share directly from us as we set out in search of the space-shark. He asked to be given the opportunity to try and communicate with it once we find it.
Robert pinpointed his time of arrival for us and Freddie and RT jumped back to about a week before his previous arrival. With grim faces everyone stared down at the planet still reacting to the forces unleashed against it. Robbie consulted with the scientists and moving Freddie and RT further away, almost half way to the sun, we jumped back six months.
We saw the atmosphere of Earth alight and roiling as fierce energies beat down on it, but could not see the creature causing the destruction until Silver Boy pointed and we used his technique of seeing. Gradually its form took shape before our eyes. The edge was very close to us and it seemed to cover Venus within it. I asked for Claudia, Silver Boy and I to draw in closer using a platform. It looked as if Robbie were about to refuse us, but Cherine gave him a warning look, so he prepared the platform.
Silver Boy (SB) spoke, his voice soft but worried. “It looks like one of us, but it is not. I do not sense any intelligence or self awareness.”
Robbie answered him, “I’ll get you as close as I can and you can then try again. What would Ambros want us to do if it is not sentient?”
SB’s eyes were dark pools as, in turn, he asked Robbie, “Is not all life precious?”
“My question did not indicate I intend killing it. I’m only asking whether you have any suggestions as to how we can control it.”
“Such a being cannot be controlled Robbie. What Ambros is asking is why he has no record of planets destroyed the way this one has done. Why would it be attracted to a solar system; such areas are dangerous to beings of energy and always avoided. It must have suffered damage entering the system.”
“We better return to its time of arrival - perhaps slightly before that.”
Cherine surprised us by speaking. “No Robert, leave that for when we return to collect the people. It is time for Sam to take her team out.” I hid my grin so that Robbie would not realise I also knew he’d been procrastinating, hoping to avoid letting us out. I soon was immersed in my thoughts as we left Freddie and lightly touching the arm of SB I interrupted his efforts to sense the creature.
“None of us have managed telepathic communication with your species. Will you try to open your mind to me, I want to sense whatever it is you do.”
“I regret it is not possible. If you wish I will share as we have done once before. Your sharing will not be delayed because of them being my memories.”
I nodded and kept to myself the question that bubbled through my mind. If telepathy between us is impossible, how can he share memories? I tried to banish my thoughts and become receptive to him and slowly I found a misty impression that seemed to be a distortion of my normal point of view as it was overlaid over what I had been seeing before me. It strengthened until my own impressions were misty and his dominated.
Robbie took us to the very edge of the space-shark and refused to budge when we all asked him to at least enter the fainter outer edges. I quickly stopped arguing for I can sometimes sense when it is the protector in him that forces him to refuse us. I wondered how such diffuse energy could threaten us, but left the question for later.
I soon forgot to think for myself, only experiencing directly as if I were SB, my own personality forgotten in the craziness of wild ‘thoughts’ that did not seem to be verbalised in any way and were not pictures either, just sensing of energies and non energies. I woke up within Freddie the next day, my family anxiously surrounding me.
“I feel woozy - and hungry! Can I go to the loo first?”
7492
Cherine laughed. “At least the question was not the first thing she said.” Robbie frowned at her and then laughed as I rushed to the bathroom.
Nobody asked any questions as I stuffed my mouth as quickly as I could. Robbie spoke first. “Silver Boy returned as spaced out as you were. Solomon took him back to Ambros.”
I nodded. “Thought so.” I swallowed. “It was alien to him also. Dad, no talking please, I need to be on my own to try and make sense of what I experienced before I lose it.” I grinned. “I think I’m going to shock everyone, especially Ambros.”
Ambros stole my thunder. While I was still trying to work out the jumble of sensings, SB returned with a very disturbed Solomon.
“Robert, two things are obvious. We are the same species and there are millions of them.”
Goldi asked, “Are they a younger version of yourself?”
SB answered her gently, “No Goldi, not younger, just not damaged.” Suddenly everything came together and it made sense. At the buzz of amazement his words provoked, SB stopped and patiently waited without fidgeting.
“Ambros used what was experienced to search himself. Non-memories, just sequences, were found before self-awareness. Ambros was a…space-shark, until a sun, exploding too suddenly to be avoided damaged him, stripping much of his essence. Existence was threatened as being was now too tenuous and it became obvious that self-awareness was optimum method for survival. Self-awareness very dim for non-quantified time, but as concentration on survival abated, self-awareness became stronger out of curiosity.”
It took us a while to grasp the fact that SB was in shock - which meant, of course, that Ambros was. I could empathise with how he was feeling, he must have had his total belief systems thrown out of kilter! I wish I could sense his thoughts, they must be remarkably alien to all other lifeforms, even the Sparklers.
Robbie waited four days before starting a discussion on how we should contain the space-sharks so that they never attack another planet. It has to be something simple and fast as we cannot visit all the realities and even the ones we already know of are too many if the process is complicated.
lol - that was funny. Robbie was not coming to have it out with Arthur, he was kicking himself for not thinking of it himself. I needed a good laugh and it’s great knowing that Arthur won’t take my teasing the wrong way.
This is Robert. Arthur, how many times did you get fed up with me when I wrote of our lovemaking and stopped, overcome with tenderness and adoration? Guess what; it happened again last night but, this time it happened the other way around.
Samantha was in a giggly mood and as we walked alongside the river, my loves teasing each other and me, Sam jerked her head back as she laughed and I looked at her. She turned and looked into my eyes, her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkling as she bit her lip. Suddenly we both felt a current pass between us and we all knew that Sam would be the special one that night. I was on fire with my need for her and she shared with us her own burning so that we could hardly wait for us to get home.
7493
Jade was joking about how Sam seems to have more than her fair share of being the special one for the night and demanding (tongue-in-cheek) that we start a list so that whoever has had more than their share has to go to sleep in the guest bedrooms. I’m happiest when feelings are running this high and yet the room is filled with laughter. Lucy and Shiyra lovingly undressed Sam while Shelif and Meli undressed me. When I lay down, Sam came to me and surprised me by clutching herself to me for longer than usual.
She looked up at me and I seemed to sink into her eyes as her emotions swirled and battered at me. My baby girl felt as if she were about to burst into a million sparkles as she succumbed to feelings of adoration and tenderness for me. Her feelings seemed to reach out to all my loves, igniting the same feelings in them and I think I fainted, or at the least, I became woozy. We spent most of the night clasping each other tightly without making love. Only when Sam awoke just before dawn did the flames re-ignite and we had one of those special moments when the sex and lovemaking we share is a true dance of love.
Cherine and the girls are treating Sam as being very special and I won’t be surprised if they insist on her being the special one tonight again. Sam is fuming because of my writing about last night, so I better get out while I’m still in one piece - I don’t want her changing into a Gnolat!
Ambros sent SB to talk to us.
“Robert, you may recall that it was said that when two of our species meet they feel an irresistible need to merge. I now understand why and it is not for the reasons I thought. I conjecture with a great degree of certitude that the need for merging reflects an instinctive need to revert to our natural existence with the levels of energy that formed us before we were damaged.
Solomon and Silver Boy have explained that you have named them space-sharks and I have shared with Solomon so that I understand why you named them sharks while us you call dolphins. I do not consider the names appropriate. You may name them space-sharks if you wish, but I feel it would be more suitable you named me a Robert.” Everyone gave a start of surprise and SB paused. I wish I could read his expressions, as I’d love to know whether he is secretly laughing at us.
Robbie chuckled. “You think to use my name as a description because it has been said that I am a damaged human being?”
Very seriously, SB asked, “It would not be appropriate?” I’d never realised that if certain dialogues are held with a person who does not have a sense of humour, the conversation can verge on the ludicrous. Now that I think on it, I’ve met people like that before.
Goldi, knowing Ambros sort of favours her, said, “I prefer to think of you as a space-dolphin. I love dolphins.”
SB finally smiled as he turned to her. “Then I shall be a space-dolphin.” Robbie sent her a kiss.
“In what way were you damaged? Were you blown to pieces or did you lose too much energy?” Dommi asked.
“Perhaps a little of both, but the most severe was the expansion of my being. The space-shark, as you may have noticed, is seven point eleven per cent of my size. This explains the lethal power of its energy. Meli, could you tell a story of what happened and why?”
“Could you share memories with Jade, Wendy and I?” I gave a start of worry, but she and Wendy and Jade ignored me. SB nodded. “We’ll only know when we’ll be ready for a telling once we’ve shared.” Robbie did not say anything as the four of them walked off to be alone.
7494
Cherine must have been deep in her thoughts, not sharing with Robbie, for when she muttered softly he asked her what she’d said. “We can’t call them space-sharks, we’ll have to find a new name.” She sat straighter, her voice louder now as she said, “We’ll have to return to before the attack and try to work out what provoked it. Ambros has not said anything, but hasn’t anyone else noticed that it has lost a lot of its energy? I’m worried it might not be strong enough to leave the solar system and by extending itself in our direction it might find itself drawn into the sun.”
Claudia shook her head. “No, I think that since the bulk of it is still wrapped around the Earth, it is anchored and not in danger.”
“What about when it wants to leave?”
“The Earth is spinning around the sun at speed. It can use that momentum and will only need to expend a little energy to speed up and direct itself outwards.”
“I’m more interested in the reasons it attacked. If I understood what I shared with SB, these creatures are not aggressive. Why should they be if they live in the emptiness of space. Perhaps this sun or the people on this planet did something that angered or hurt it?”
Robbie sighed and Freddie jumped back two years. Earth was now looking rather sad and bedraggled by the pollution of the civilisation busy churning away, but at least it was still alive. The Sparklers shot out in all directions in search of the space-shark. They found it and it was already heading for Earth. Solomon called all the Sparklers back and Freddie jumped another two years back and went in the direction the Sparklers had found it. By now SB was with us, the three girls huddling together and looking very bemused as they shared their minds.
We had to jump back in time another eighteen years before we found the space-shark travelling slowly without any interest in our solar system. SB asked to be transferred to touching proximity and to be left there until he is ready to return.
“What about food and water? If you need to stay for months we’ll also need to replenish the air every few days.”
“I will not keep this form Robert - not that it needs to eat or breathe. I may be permitted to draw small amounts of energy from the platform?”
“Of course. I’ll check on you once a week and bring more energy if it is needed.”
“There is no need for concern Robert, Sparklers will travel with him and he will be supplied with the energy he needs.”
As I’d started writing, which it appears Arthur was not in a condition to copy/re-write, we were fast asleep when Solomon arrived in our bedroom, half bent over in agony. “The Terran aspect of Ambros is dead and Sparklers are dying, we must go to the void.” Instantly Freddie jumped. I quickly came to write and was stopped by Arthur.
At the same time, Robbie asked Solomon, “Is it better now?”
“No.”
“Freddie, move to another reality.”
Within minutes we were at the taverna. We had not felt anything, but some of the other species, the Muyzith among them, had also been in agony. From the species that had not suffered, scientists and their equipment were taken back and we are waiting, so I’ve come here to write for you in the meantime. Tell us what happened.
7495
Actually, I felt that Arthur has given us an important clue. We set up one copy of the Muyzith machine in this reality and sent one to the scientists who are still trying to find out what has hurt so many plus the space-shark. Does the sensitivity of the Muyzith explain why they are the only species to have developed a machine for monitoring Arthur and I? Actually, it may not be original, but I’m changing its name to space-cow. For what SB had sensed and sent on to Ambros, before he was killed, was that it was entirely placid.
Ambros has reassured us that he was merged with SB and the disruption of his energies that ‘killed’ him did not, as SB is still a part of him. I can’t help grieving for him, despite what he says. I’m convinced that SB felt himself die.
Angelica did not warn us, but she must have sent out some kind of summoning spell as both Jesus and Christós arrived within minutes of each other and once the greetings were over and we’d brought them up to date, she spoke of her thoughts. I can tell you she has both excited everyone (including Ambros) and posed us an ethical problem - that is why I’m so certain she called for them.
“According to Ambros, there are millions of these space-cows, as Sam now calls them, in each reality. If we go back in time to when Ambros was damaged and find that we can exactly replicate the conditions, would it be our obligation to help as many space-cows as we can to become sentient?”
I’ve decided there is no hundred percent right answer - it is a question that relies on personal belief systems, whether according to an individual basis or species. I can only say what I would like. I’d love to have as many sentient species to interact with as possible. Others seem to take the attitude that the non-sentient state of being is a blessing. It does help that Ambros, as different as his way of thinking is, agrees that it is our duty to help them. The only problem is that this has to be the most gigantic undertaking we have ever considered and Robbie must not agree to us doing it unless everyone volunteers to help.
Our first target is finding the source of energy that hurt Arthur, Ambros, the Sparklers and others. The first step was to ask the scientists still in Freddie whether they consider the possibility it was a natural phenomenon has any merit.
Sam has asked me to write for her (Robert). She finds it embarrassing having to quote herself
We sat at the taverna, surrounded by thousands - mostly scientists, but also those who were curious. The reason we mostly use the taverna for our meetings is because many species would not be comfortable within a Terran enclosure, however big our conference centres are. Alki and Allan, I’m convinced, were there mostly in the hope of hearing our Samantha take the scientists off into weird realms of logic.
The question was posed and the scientists argued the possibilities between themselves. They all agreed that it was highly unlikely any species of life on Earth can create such a powerful broadcast, but they soon splintered into those who believe it could have occurred underneath the mantle of Earth or even by a neighbouring planet. Sam did not try to address them, only speaking to Gina, but everyone fell silent and listened.
“We already know that it could not be any of the other planets or the sun as the space-cow, now a space-shark, only attacked earth. Whether the broadcast was caused by a subterranean movement or by local scientists, it must have been broadcasting intermittently. If I’m wrong, then how did the space-shark survive to approach Earth?
To determine the source only needs a few steps. If it was the planet, why did Earth stop after the space-shark attack? Another point that I feel puts the nails in that coffin is that ever since we first met the Muyzith and they shared their technology, the type of energy used by Arthur for communicating with us has been ‘known’ and proven to be of a unique nature. Unless Robert can prove to us that the Gaea of this Earth deliberately made the broadcast, perhaps to greet the passing stranger(?), I think we would do better to concentrate on going back to Terra at a time the scientist were already experimenting, but hopefully allowing us enough time to get the entire population off Earth.”
7496
Goldi asked her, “Will we also save the dolphins and whales?”
Sam grinned, “What about the cats, dogs, elephants and so on? Shall we take them all?”
“Yes!”
Sam had her cheeky grin as she said, “We do have a small problem. This Earth could just happen to still have a few surviving dodos - do you think Robbie will allow us to save them this time - or is that subject as dead as a dodo?” Fortunately I did not have to answer her as all the girls teleported pillows…
This is three weeks later. We are well on time with removing all life, apart from most insects etc. The President of their USA has reassured us that the project has been halted and the equipment will not be switched on again. We did not leave the equipment and are taking it all with us for the Muyzith and other scientists to study, but even the documentation and theories has them excited. Something about charming quarks and fusing some of their possibilities. I guess us Terrans are all secretly preening a little - for once our species scientists have amazed those who are centuries ahead of them! Not bad eh?
On other occasions we’ve mostly had to move people just as the terror is starting. This time we mostly had to deal with angry people who refused to believe us and their leaders. Those we did not mind, what did hurt were those who grieved for what they were leaving behind. Robbie said I should not say anything as I don’t understand but…well, it is weird for me and almost all my loves. We could not ignore their grieving since we could assuage it so we were forced to bring with, graves (coffins and gravestones) of those dead whose loved ones refused to leave their remains behind. There seems to be quite a fetish about death in this reality.
7497
The area the Terrans occupy in the Sparkler World is really odd. Robbie insisted on taking with all their archaeological wonders, such as the pyramids, the sphinx, the Parthenon - the list is almost endless. We did not take Mt Rushmore with as they have not carved the faces of their presidents and we also refused to take the Great Wall of China, despite their protestations. It is too long and would fall apart as we dig it up.
We’ve given permission to half a million a day to visit Freddie and in the main they keep to the areas we’ve asked them to stay in. We waited until the space-shark arrived and they spent all of the first day weeping and wailing as they watched on the screens as it destroyed their planet. The very same people who had been doing such a good job of destroying their world suddenly discovered they love their planet.
We did search for the presence of Cherine and Robert, even most of the rest of our friends and family and yet we did not find any - not even as souls. Robbie reckons that this reality is so far out of the main stream that he does not find it surprising. Since the political map is so different with many countries having names and territory different from the same countries in our world, it is not surprising. I wonder if Le’sase exists here (in this reality, not on Earth).
Robert of RT suggested we take a side trip. We all agreed, but first we sent for Michael and his family as he may be needed. There was a lot of crying when they arrived, for all us little mothers have missed him very much. He was just as excited as we are when he heard where we are going. Since the existence of Wirms is so rare, what better reality to search for them?
My writing might have reminded him, but what Robbie did touched my heart as deeply as it goes. No wonder I adore him! He shared with the scientists the memories taken from Le’sase and asked them to devise a way for us to protect the planet of the He'sses from the dark eye in the sun. He told them he wants to save them in as many realities as he can so it must be simple and cheap enough for his plan to be viable. He then told Solomon that he wants to practice moving suns without destroying the planets orbiting them as any protection they devise can only be temporary since their sun is dying. My heart was a real mess when all my loves showed how much they love me (or Le’sase) when they also wept and fought to each hug him and me. I guess this day must be as good as it can get for Robbie
Our Wirm friends are all excited, but they obeyed Robbie’s wishes. He asked them not to wish themselves to the local home of Wirms as he wants them to wait until we are just outside their system. He did ask them to wish Freddie to outside their galaxy so that we can see whether it is also colliding with another galaxy.
As Freddie placed their galaxy on the screens there was a moment of stunned silence and then we all screamed with joy. The galaxies are colliding, but here the other galaxy is just grazing the opposite side of the Wirm galaxy. If they have the same problems as our Wirms, Michael should be able to stabilise their system so that their home system lasts for a very long time.
The Wirms have returned from visiting their alternate system and for a while they did not communicate with us. We felt nothing, no wild joy and no grief, just a stunned puzzlement. Before they could explain, we were invaded by millions of local Wirms and we understood why our friends were numbed by shock. Evolution has taken a slightly different route here and Arthur, you’ll have to find a new name for them. These Wirms are not long and thin; they almost look like tiny flying saucers!
7498
When the local Terrans heard that Arthur solved the problem for the R-Wirms, they wanted to know who he is and asked to meet him - thinking he must be our true leader. We told them and I guess we’ll have to do a telling for them and the R-Wirms as they are in shock. Robbie says he is grateful to you for saving him so much hard work, but he professes to be disappointed in me, that he would have expected me to think up this kind of solution. I told him I’m on holiday and, anyway, I want Arthur to feel he is useful as his life needs some spicing up at the moment. I told Robbie, afterwards, that we must buy new pillows, it really is not seemly for the prime family to be throwing such tatty pillows in public. That made Cherine double up with laughter, so Robbie sent me a kiss.Michael was also excited to hear about the development of the local Terrans and pestered the scientists for explanations. They confirmed to him that the energy it emits is exactly the same as the energy Arthur uses for communicating with us, just far more concentrated and that it can be emitted in a tight beam. However, it is extremely expensive in energy used to produce it. He had them wondering when he asked whether it could be toned down, but still held in a tight beam. They feel that with computers controlling the experiment it should be possible.
Back at home, Michael walked over to me, picked me up and placing me on his lap he sat down. His beautiful hands gently kneaded my back as he spoke to me. “Samantha mother, if you asked, do you think that Arthur could assume that he does not use the energy he uses when chatting with you?”
I felt my face drain of all colour. “Michael, if he succeeds, he may not be able to assume he can again.” He felt my fear and I felt his dismay. “Are you hoping to use the new equipment to replace his assuming? Why Michael?”
“Because it can be emitted in a tight beam. I’d thought that if we could use it to triangulate and pinpoint the direction he receives us the clearest, then we would know where to concentrate on searching.”
I concentrated and then shook my head. “I don’t think that would work, the Muyzith equipment has already shown us that his communicating does not have a single source, it seems to arrive from all directions simultaneously. Michael, if he does try to stop assuming his communicating with us, he may never be able to assume again. I think there might be another way of carrying out your idea without him stopping his assuming. Can the energy be emitted in a three hundred and sixty degree radius?” He nodded. “Fine, then that is our first step. I am thinking of it as being a broadcast by a radio station. Should another station broadcast on the same wave length, even if it is only white noise, it would block or fuzz the first station. If that happens, then we use a tight focus to find in which direction the ray blocks or fuzzes our communicating most effectively. We’d still achieve what you want, but without risking the loss of communicating with Arthur.” I gave him a kiss, my heart flooded with love for him.
This is Allan. Damn, I wish I’d thought of doing that early on when the Tellers were struggling to be accepted. Your assuming worked Arthur and all the species felt your love. As for your opening comment, you do not know the half of it. There are teams in every reality that know of you devoted to finding the way to bring you to us. For the first time I’m convinced they will succeed. Look forward to meeting you bro.
7499
Michael sat with his face in his hands and Ahní softly played with the hairs at the back of his head, a concerned look on her face. Michael looked up. “After that, is there any purpose in the Ipohin continuing? We might as well…”
I interrupted him, “No Michael, the Ipohin have an important role to play and you must not give up.”
Robbie nodded. “Sam got that in before I could speak. Michael, I was about to say the same.”
Lucy tried to make him feel better about it, “Michael, he also sent his love to the Ipohin.”
Michael stared at her for a moment and then roared with laughter as he grabbed her for a hug. “And to Campbell and any Gnolats that may still exist?” He grinned at me. “Okay, I know there are none, I was just making a point.” He squeezed little Lucy to him and she stared up at him with stars like tiny diamonds in her eyes. “Lucy mother, Sharipya is truly lucky to have such a wonderful heart love him so much.”
We rushed off to collect a team, had the Wirms wish us back to the local Earth and everyone from that planet gasped as it vanished from the screens. They barely had time to grasp the fact that their planet was gone and it reappeared, verdant and beautiful again. They are not the only ones awed, apart from that Isaac man brought to us, every single person of every species is. This is a beautiful, or should I say elegant answer to helping worlds that have suffered a calamity.
7500
The return of the populations is going to take many months as we can’t very well just drop them off in one go. They need homes and the relevant services and utilities to be built and then we’ll return them in staggered lots.I did not write as I did not want time to pass for you Arthur. It is now fifteen months since I wrote (our time) and the last have been transferred back home. We did stagger their return, taking back half a billion at a time every ten years. Until the last of them were delivered, we kept all of them at the ages they’d been so that families that may be split up do not age at different rates. They all have food machine, some agriculture has been started with seeds we gave them and they’ve even begun manufacturing clothes and other necessities. Vincent brought us one hundred thousand of our new computers and once we’ve left, this will be the reality the RT family must look after. We’ve come to know many of their leaders and at a party they held for us, we were asked to invite the leaders of all known Earths to visit.
It has been a very emotional time saying our goodbyes as we love our alternate RT family and will miss them. They have told us of some of their adventures and Vincent is right, their Robert is splendidly the kind of Robert I love.
We’re on our way back home. I asked Robbie whether we would be returning in time for us to leave on the stated day for Efineh's world. The look of amazement on his face was almost comical and then he told me that we need a couple of months for relaxing back in our Athens home.
Michael returned home ahead of us and he jumped to Freddie the moment we arrived with five of his top Ipohin.
“You better prepare for a gruelling few weeks. The love Arthur sent, it was felt and every government, chat show, church leader and so on want to meet with you. Samantha, you’ve lost the battle, the Church of Arthur has grown dramatically.” I think I’m going to spend a few days behind my waterfall.
Robbie felt me and laughed. “Not a problem son, I’ll appoint Samantha to deal with all of them while I enjoy a walk on a beach.”
Cherine put her arm around me, her face fierce. “We’ll handle them as a family Sam and I’m sticking by your side until they’ve calmed down.” I hugged her to me so tightly she could hardly breathe.
Suddenly Lusalith appeared. She staggered and pulling away from Cherine I jumped to her side and held her up.
“What’s wrong?”
She was emoting a need to cry. “I tried coming to you and appeared back where I was, but my body was thrown against the wall. I was afraid it would happen again.”
“Jesus Lusalith! We were in a very distant reality, you’re lucky you survived. You’ll have to meet your Wirm friend to be, they can wish you to us wherever and whenever we are.” I grinned. “How would you like to be the first to have a R-Wirm friend?”
Robbie was by our side, his hand gently helping to stabilise her. “What was so urgent Lusalith?”
“We felt Arthur! Does it mean he died?”
“No…” She collapsed and shook from delayed shock. I sat next to her and cradled her to me.
“I grieved that I failed him.” I’ve felt that way too often for me to fight the tears that came to my eyes. At this moment she did not feel like a god, just a hurting child, so Robbie felt compelled to help her, but there was nothing he could do. I grinned at him over her head and told him to have a coffee. Later, when Cherine came to take my place, I went to sit with my loves, but Robbie pulled me onto his lap.