“Kerastiri, I asked you, but did not receive an answer then. Have I acted with honour?”
“For my people, yes. For me, I do not know. Too much of what I believed is no longer true.”
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7341
“I understand what you mean. Allow me to talk about religion in a different way so that you understand why I have acted as I have. You know that people of different lands have their own beliefs, like the Orati believe the land is their mother, not yours. Why is it that so many different lands have beliefs that in some ways are the same and in other ways are so different?” I talked to him about the impact that the culture of the people has on their beliefs and the impact their beliefs have on their culture. I described a number of religions and tried to show him that even though they all believe in a god, their gods are different because of their cultures and yet, underneath the differences, they are all the same. I then tried to explain to him why it is that mankind feels the need for gods and how having gods provides a layer of comfort and order to their lives. I did not expect him to understand all I said, but I did make clear I will be available for many years for him to question what needs further explanations or to argue with what he differs in opinion.
“For the Feshidi it is important that they have something to believe in. We do not offer that with what we teach, because we demand that each man and woman believe in themselves. The world is too big and too many dangers exist for them to understand what we ask of them at this time, they still need the comfort you can offer them. You have already taken the first steps towards providing them with a god who is kinder and more like a father. Was your father kind to you when you were a child Kerastiri?”
“He was.”
“When you became a man, did he allow you to remain a son, dependant on him, or did he demand you find your own path, that you feed yourself and become responsible for your life?”
“He did as all good fathers do.”
“Why would your god be different? Would he not also want to see his children grow and become the best they can be? Would he not also be proud of them when they accept responsibility for their own lives? Would he want his people to remain as children for all their lives?”
As may have become obvious, I was not only hoping he would make the Fanged One a gentler god, I also wanted him to find a way to avoid the trap so many religions create when they teach that their god is their supreme father. I wanted his people to understand that as with their own fathers, the FO would be proud of them taking hold of their lives and becoming sons and daughters he can admire. We talked for hours and we will talk for many more, and I have hopes we just might design a religion that prepares his people so that they can become Cherinians even before they are linked.
Of course, Jade and Cassie tried to prick my bubble once we were alone by trying to create a religion for our family based on my argument that a god should be as a good father is and so our god must account for the fact that our father, who they stated is a very good father, wants us to remain children forever. I don’t think they’ve made me laugh this much for a long time thanks to their convoluted arguments. I think I’ll suggest to them tomorrow that they retry the exercise basing their arguments on the fact that our ultimate father is Arthur, who in many ways should also be described as having the attributes of a true paedophile.
We had so many discussions going and we were enjoying ourselves so much that I only returned to the early Feshidi eight days later. Sebura came with, bringing Pirusi with (we made a game out of changing her to look like a Feshidi and half the laughter came from watching Sebura’s reactions). They have taken to animal husbandry with great enthusiasm and that side of their life is a success. The crops though have not done that well and I had to help put them back in the condition I’d left them. I warned them I’ll return in five years again (five years is a length of time they don’t really understand) but that it would also be my final visit.
We did not delay this time. We made the jump and returned to them. I was pleased to see that they have cleared new land, their herds have grown and their population has also expanded. We sent healers to all of them so that they have a better chance of their children and grandchildren growing in a healthy way. They had kept in mind that this is my final visit and held a huge feast where they all ate and drank too much and flooded me with words of love and praise. In a way it is a pity that I could sense their fear of me. Kerastiri spent his time talking to those who seem to be developing a priesthood. Now I’ll just have to let the future up to our present time take care of itself.
We have returned to our time and I’ll have to make my way through another feast and a showing on the screens. At least they are not showing the talks about religion I had with Kerastiri.
7342
The imps told us that if you’re going to write your weird dreams in here then they should also be allowed to tease in the diary
As you can probably tell, things are very quiet here. There is a lot of work for everyone to do, but I’m taking it easy. I keep getting twinges in my shoulder, but my healer tells me there is nothing wrong, I guess I became used to it being deformed and sore and need time to adjust. I’ve given instructions to my healer that when I’m hurt and it heals me, it must do it the old way if my life is not in danger. I think my mind finds it difficult to accept that I’ve been healed when it happens suddenly like that.
Efineh knows that I watch her, but I do not want her to be conscious of my looking over her shoulder all the time, so, with her agreement, Dommi watches for me when she is on planet. Her touch is so light that Efineh forgets that she is watching and sharing with me. I’m very proud of her. She is quick to acknowledge her mistakes and she asks those who work with her for their opinion and shows her enthusiasm whenever one of them has a good idea or a point of view about something being taught that makes her stop and think. It seems our Orati ladies have forgotten her origins for they treat her as if she is also an Orati, while the Feshidi treat her as a Feshidi woman.
We’ve been here now two months since returning from the past and Saiama has found himself a woman. She is an Orati girl! The council offered him a house in the town, so he came to speak to me.
“I prefer to stay here Sam, but my woman tells me the house they offered me is meant to honour you.”
“What is her name?”
“Fibela. Would you like to meet her?”
“I would. Saiama, if the house in town pleases you, then move there. I’m certain it will be easier for Fibela also, she’ll have her family and friends to support her and keep her company when you are not at home. Now, I want to meet the lucky lady who’s caught herself such a good man, will the two of you join us for the evening meal?”
Neither of their cultures has any kind of wedding ceremony. The couple with family and friends get together to eat, drink and offer much ribald advice. Before they ate with us that evening we offered to hold the feast for the joining of their lives and we told her to bring all her family and friends - and somewhat cattily, Dommi told her to invite all those who envy her. We took her to Angel’s room where she was fitted with a sari-type dress made out of pure silk and she looked stunning. If she’d been with family or friends she would have cried, but she had to make do with a few hugs from us.
7343
We expected about thirty guests, but planned for at least a hundred. She caught us by surprise when the guests arrived and we found they totalled over one hundred and fifty - she had taken Dommi’s advice to heart, plus Saiama invited three of the council members plus Ashema and his family. Freddie took the tiniest hop ever, to go to a different reality for Maria to prepare the food without our meal having to be delayed. Since Saiama intends starting his own cattle herd, we donated ten cows and one bull. Efineh traded for some furnishing so that they start their life together with some degree of comfort.I jump to Freddie almost daily to visit Lusalith. I’ve experienced a diverse number of dreams with her, but the one she likes the best is with her riding Skotos while I run alongside. We’ll usually stop at a pool for her to soak while we chat. I have been worrying a lot about the future of her people, they must not stop dancing and dreaming. I’m also hoping that I can change the ‘seeing’ of her god; they must continue having gods. I’ve asked isi to arrange with the Unation a special version of an encyclopædia without the ideas that are not suitable to their culture.
I went today to try once more to help her enter my mind. When I arrived I found myself in the middle of considerable excitement. The Inguel have been examining the fifth treehouse and they’ve just announced that it is not made of energies as the others are; it has been grown out of some kind of super coral!
When I heard, I thought, how lovely. It turns out that it is not. Coral is brittle and if the inner shield alters shape, even slightly, the whole treehouse could collapse. Robbie has decided Freddie will not jump again before a decision is taken about the treehouse. Depending on how it is fixed to the inner shield, if it should collapse it could actually tear holes into the shield.
The CherInguel advised Robbie that the coral does have an unusual elasticity, but that any distortion of the shield will at minimum cause cracks. As a temporary measure Robbie has decided to coat the coral with an energy shield. Vincent is the only one who can help him so it will take a couple of months. Robbie wants to do the work in a dead reality so all those who want to stay with the Orati are moving out and those we want to be with us are coming. I asked Efineh to come with, but she prefers to stay and even asked me to delay our return by three months. I’ve agreed, but then I am determined to take her with, I don’t want us growing apart.
7344
I needed this time for relaxing. The best way for me to spend these months while Robbie fixes the treehouse is to study. My adventures have shown me how ignorant I am in so many ways. I do not mind not knowing advanced theories, technology and philosophies, but I hate being ignorant about basic ways of surviving. I spend time with Lusalith and I still love her personality, but she is now taking very seriously her career and I decided it is better to allow her to question others. From our family, I’ve insisted she takes turns with my loves so that she learns of the differences in our opinions also.
Robbie is not covering the inner walls as he is more worried about the outer potential damage. After working hard for nine weeks he was close to finishing as he only had the top floors to cover. His curiosity has been eating at him so he provided nets of energy to catch any falling pieces and then distorted slightly the inner shield at the top floors. The coral seemed to wave along with the shield so he increased the distortion. Still no cracks! He started severe ripples which affected the water inside but still no cracks, the coral bending and undulating along with the shield. I suspect the watching Inguel scientists wished they could disappear back into their laboratories. Robbie finished off covering the top apartments (actually where the restaurants and clubs will be) and then asked them to join us at the taverna.
“If that coral is as resilient and flexible as it seems to be, I can imagine there must be hundreds of applications that would need it. Can you devise new tests to determine the composition and just what its properties are?”
“We will do so and we are certain the scientists of the other species will be more capable than we have been. Robert, we must apologise…”
“Sorry to interrupt you, I’ve just realised I forgot to thank you. I know you feel your first experiments and investigations were not fully successful, but please consider the results. By enclosing it within the same energies as the shield, the treehouse is now safer. If I’d known from the start the capabilities of this coral I would probably have been too lazy to undertake such a massive job. Experience suggests to me that you are probably responsible for a lot of lives being saved sometime in our future. Thank you.”
isi-mi startled them and Robbie by answering for them. “My people are grateful to have had the opportunity of being of service Robert.” It took a long time for the CherInguel to appreciate her sly humour, even though Robbie and all of us laughed and Robbie pretended to complain that she has become a politician. If things were otherwise, we would have seen to it that she was the special love of that night.
The DD were all amused once they understood. They’d had complete confidence in their god and had been under the impression that Robbie has other reasons for covering the treehouse in an energy shield. As they pointed out, their cities are all built using the same coral and they have lasted thousands of years, despite earthquakes in certain regions. Robbie offered to buy coral for other products they might require. They promptly ordered millions of humidifiers for their homes, offices, shops and factories! The scientists are already designing humidifiers that will suit the DD.
We have arrived at the DD planet. As soon as we arrived their god visited us.
She must have instantly shared with Lusalith for we sensed her amusement. For just a second we sensed excitement and wonder and then agitation when Lusalith told her that they’ve asked for humidifiers. After that we sensed a resignation. I quickly jumped to her.
“Welcome. I hope you are pleased that the dreaming and dancing will not end?” She asked her people to leave her alone with me.
“Samantha, was it Arthur that changed our future?”
“He made a suggestion that made it possible.”
“He did not make the decision? With just a suggestion he changed the future that was?”
7345
I asked her to explain exactly what is troubling her. She told me that she had foreseen Cherinianism bringing about the end of dreaming because of our healers. It was not a matter of extrapolation, she had actually ‘seen’ the future which is no longer true. “There was no choice Samantha. It would be cruel to ask any father to watch his daughter die when she could be saved.”
“We had the same problem with a mother soul. It told us that Robbie continually changes the future it knows. I can’t answer you, I think only you can know because only you know what your gifts are and the truth of your seeing. We sensed that this only filled you with wonder. Please tell us what it was that worried you.”
“Humidifiers are not advanced technology Samantha, our people have invented them hundreds of times. They are seen as a step back in our evolution, preventing our people from evolving. People will want the air more and more humid until we are forced back into the water. We will revert to unthinking animals.”
“I’m sorry, we’ll cancel the order.”
“Too many know now, even a god cannot decide for her people.”
I pretended a grin. “Maybe, it does not mean I can’t. Our scientists will have to advise your people that they cannot provide humidifiers because their data projects a loss of sentience. I doubt that any father wants non-sentient children.”
Her eyes were a slate colour as she asked me, “You find it easy making such decisions for others Samantha?”
I shrugged. “We try to make our decisions with empathy, but also based on ethics. Smaller ethical sins will not prevent us from making a decision if the larger ethics demand it. Our prime ethic is that we are not allowed to harm others - nor are we allowed to assist them in harming themselves.” I lightened my tone, “I also sensed amusement. Were we responsible?”
“I was shown your worries about the tree homes I built.”
“Robert bears the responsibility for all life in here, he has to be cautious.”
“Distrust blinds your species Samantha?”
I wondered, does she expect us to take her powers at face value without any doubts? I sensed that was not it, she was amused again. “In a sense you are correct. Why don’t you tell me what it was that amused you?”
Her eyes changed colour as I sensed a slyness to her amusement. “I believe your people like to trade?”
“What do you wish to trade for knowledge of what amused you? We don’t always trade, we prefer to give so that we grow.”
“That is not what I saw.” She actually chuckled. “The Rivvels are a strange people.” Her eyes changed again. “Give me a little time.” She turned from me, concentrating on the ground. A sheet of lace formed, about half a metre by half a metre. “Give that to Robert and ask him does he need an ignorant god to explain?”
I picked up the lacy coral and I was surprised to find it as flexible and sheer as silk. I sent it to Robbie who was already eagerly waiting for it. “Lusalith god, can you leave your body?”
“It is possible.”
“Can you meet us in the void?” I silently asked Robbie to meet us there and warned Meli.
Most of Freddie appeared in the void and we were excited to see her soul. It is mostly lilac and blue and brighter than most souls we’ve seen. I explained that Robbie will take her to a new world and that he needs to enclose her within his energies. On Meli’s world I gave her the body of a little Terran girl.
7346
Meli was waiting for her. “Welcome Lusalith god to my world. If you like it, you are welcome to visit whenever you wish.”
“Where is this world? Robert did not carry me to another sun.”
“It is within my mind.”
This was a wonder she had not even guessed is possible and she had dozens of questions. After that she eagerly allowed us to show her around. Though trees and bushes are totally alien to her, she had seen them in Freddie, but she told Meli hers belong and are therefore beautiful. When we took her to the unborn city we faltered, nobody explaining, for we sensed a spurt of anger and then grief.
“You have been laughing at me!”
Robbie glanced at me. “I am not aware of us doing so. It is not in our nature. What makes you think so?”
“You pretended ignorance of our coral and yet the city is built of the same coral!”
“What!”
She can sense our emoting so was soon reassured that we had not been laughing at her. She sensed our wonder and confusion, but it was mostly the emoting of Meli that convinced her. “You did not know?”
“I do not know how the world or the city was created, I was born with it in my mind.”
I started laughing so Robbie quickly pulled me to him. “What is it my love?”
“The first Cherinian thief! That is what Meli is, she steals other people’s ideas and makes them real.” He frowned at me, angry for a moment, but then all the others started laughing so he grinned at Meli.
Cassie of course immediately took it to extremes, “Should we report her to the council?” That had everyone holding their sides as they laughed. Only Lusalith god was solemn, perplexed by our hysterics.
Once we’d recovered we went to the forest and introduced Daniel and had something to eat and drink. We made certain she only drank fruit juice and she enjoyed the variety of tastes. It seemed a good idea so we took her to the beach. Excited, she took off her clothes and ran into the water. We had to go after her as she’d forgotten her Terran body is not adapted for staying underwater. We need not have worried, she’d changed herself and swam along the sand and coral, watching with amazement the forms of life.
We were back at our taverna, Lusalith god back in her own body. I grinned. “Was that a good trade?”
“If I speak Samantha, Robert will curse my name.”
“He can’t, he doesn’t know it.” Candy said.
“Robert, is hard work worth extra safety? Place coral lace within each energy shield. Your shields will double in strength and resilience.”
Jade called out, distressed, “We’ll lose our viewing windows! Robert, can the windows go through the holes in the lace?” He nodded, lost in himself. I knew he was not examining her suggestion logically, he was examining how it made him feel.
“As soon as we return to Athens I’ll strip Freddie and built the shields again.”
Lusalith god left, promising to visit in two days time. That was when your interruption came through, as I was about to write of her visit. I’ll ask the questions when she returns. Arthur, you always spoke of your dreams of us giving you pleasure, I don’t understand why they upset you now - don’t they show we are drawing closer to each other?
7347
Lusalith has been given the adult name of Cheslith - the first part stands for Cherinian Student, but the rest of it is very unusual for them. They’ve come to the conclusion that Arthur, the Father, gave her, her child name, so she is keeping part of it in his honour. Lusalith god might as well be plain Lusalith now - until she is given or chooses her adult name.
Lusalith arrived at a time that we were all in a dither about Arthur and when she learnt the reason we panicked, afraid she would die. She insisted we have to bring him Now and would not listen to us. I finally managed to make her start thinking by telling her that Arthur has questions he wants answered.
“In the year the god is to become an adult, the next Empire that is to offer a god gathers all the girl children who are very young in years and also very sick and about to die. All the adults gather in a stadium looking down on the children and slowly a feeling grows strong and it settles on the children and it then chooses the one to be believed in. As the new god is chosen, the existing one loses her godhood and becomes an adult.
We do not know whether the sickness is healed or whether the power holds it so that it cannot be sensed anymore. Even when I am adult, it will not kill me. Some say the power does not tolerate impurities and rids the body of them while others say the power converts them. The second option is favoured as it explains why only a sick child close to death is chosen, the power needs those weakened cells.
How am I changed? Does Arthur ask of the body or the mind? I cannot answer either question, for I can see all about my people, but nothing about myself.”
“How about previous gods? Can you see them? Can you sense how they are different from other adults?”
She sat silently for a time. “I can see them, but I cannot decide what is different, for they are not invited. There are no other adult not invited, so I cannot find the information of how they should be.”
Robbie asked, “I have a question, but please consider it well first before answering. Can any person invite anyone of a different Empire?”
“There is no difficulty in answering. Yes.”
“The next two questions are the difficult ones. May we be accepted as an Empire of your world?”
She instantly saw where his questions were leading and her eyes turned to a cold slate. She gave a mental sigh. “We cannot refuse your family - you are the chosen ones of our Father.”
“May we then invite all the adult ex-gods?”
We felt her misery so keenly that I had to think quickly. “Lusalith, separate that question into two. The first is can we invite any who are not invited, not just ex-gods. The second, if the first answer is positive, that we would be allowed, is then, should we? If we should not, can you give us the reasons?”
Her misery only deepened. “The first answer is yes, it is allowed. There is no second answer, for the question has already created the answer. Your question cannot be kept a secret and none, not even a god, may say that any person should not be invited. You have changed our future again and there will be those who will find a male and have children and all will grow afraid of our gods. That will kill the gods, we cannot be believed through fear. No child can remain a child if it is feared.” She looked at us with sorrow for she could sense how we’d been affected and the guilt eating at us. “It is in the nature of Arthur to ask questions and you were created in his image. You do not have the same instinct my people have that helps us avoid asking the questions that could harm us. No Empire will wait for you, they will invite their adult ex-gods and they will find a mate and have children. Consider it the new way that is.”
7348
Lusalith departed almost immediately, as if she feared what else we would think up to destroy her world. We are not in a much better condition so we called for a general meeting. They have all shared what has been said, but nobody seems to have any ideas on how we can mitigate the effects she has foreseen.The DD living in Freddie have all been broadcasting their dismay despite their efforts not to, as they do not wish to make us suffer. We told them that Arthur has found a solution that might help, so they are not so miserable anymore.
Lusalith must have sensed the change in her people in Freddie, for she returned. We’ve told her that you have an idea you wish to discuss with her. She is sitting by me, please go ahead.
7349
The truth is we are sort of leery about asking any questions. All species came together to discuss it, but none of us could see how this question could cause new problems, so we decided to do as Arthur asked next time Lusalith visits.
This is the first trip since the beginning where we have so few Normals with us in Freddie. Most who started as Normals have asked to be linked and Cherine approved them. As was previously discussed, she does not do much of the linking anymore - only those she is certain will be our best Cherinians. We have instituted a new policy. If an Elipian, for example, wants to be linked, we ask one of the other species to link them. It was Robbie’s idea, he thinks it will be good for future relationships that everyone to be linked is linked by a Cherinian of another specie. His idea seems to be working, for it does seem to draw them closer. The only ones we have not linked any of, are the DD onboard.
Without telling us (not that he had to), Allan sent a message to Lusalith, asking her whether she would like to visit our home planet. She jumped to Freddie, just as excited as any child.
“Robert, how could this be? I cannot leave my people alone.”
“Can they be left alone for a couple of minutes?” She agreed it would be acceptable. “I think it is then up to Allan to explain why he invited you. Allan, have you thought of how you will deal with that Terran DD religion? If they hear she is with us they’ll be demanding they meet her and they’ll want to monopolise her for as long as she is there.”
Allan shrugged, tightly controlling his amusement. “I don’t see why you’re so worried about them, anyone would think you don’t approve of them. Robert, our first ever religion that worships a little girl god and you don’t approve?” He got his laughs. “I suggest we don’t let anyone know. If we do she’ll either be monopolised by that new religion or by our politicians or by other kooks who’ll be determined to prove she is not a god.”
“Why did you invite her then?”
“I have a feeling that some of her people will have seen our technology and heard of it from those who came with us. I want her to see for herself how harmful uncontrolled development of technology can be for the people themselves. I love the way they have chosen a middle road and I want to nip in the bud any sudden spurts. Robert, they too have their inventors and corporate entities, Lusalith must know why she must refuse them and assure a slow but steady growth with every invention first carefully considered before being accepted.”
Unfortunately Lusalith thinks of Allan as being close to her in godhood, so she accepted his reasoning without questions. I hope Robbie doesn’t do or say anything to demean Allan while she is with us - not that I want him to at any other time, just especially not now. I don’t think he will, I don’t know why I was feeling nervous.
As it turned out, Allan did not wait for Robbie. As earnestly as he could he explained to Lusalith (and all the onboard DD’s) that he is not the representative of Arthur, has no wish to be and even does not like Arthur. Lusalith shook her tiny claws, her eyes a tropical sky blue.
“It is wise of you Allan. You have daughters and do not wish to become a proxy god. Do your people believe you when you say such things about Arthur?”
Robbie laughed out loud and Eleni gave him a pretend nasty look. He changed what he was about to say. “Lusalith, none of us think of Arthur as our god, to us he is a friend who does not mind us arguing with him. The one person who argues with him the most is Samantha and that is why he loves her the most. Next time you talk to him tell him when you disagree with what he says and that will make him love you even more.”
“He does not have the power of verity? You can hold your own opinions against his?”
7350
Since Robbie had given me the leading role, I explained. “The power he has given himself over us is what he calls the power of assuming. For instance, when he created your people, he did not assume what you look like, what you eat nor did he chose the colour of your exoskeleton. If he had assumed you were green in colour, then you would have been. He prefers to assume life for us and then allow our own natures to choose the details. As we told you last time, he can force his assumption on us by choosing how he writes in our diary. We did not tell you that he has another way. Let me give you an example, if he has assumed the existence of a species that are to become our enemies or the enemies of life in general, without him thinking about it, his subconscious assumes that the species has a weakness that makes it possible for Robert to protect us from them.”
She nodded her claws in agreement. “It is the same for me. To give an example, when you first met Cheslith, if I had not liked you, I would have assumed she would not have liked you and therefore she would not have. I did not assume anything because I was interested, so she was free to like you.”
I could not resist asking, “What do you assume about Arthur?”
“I would not dare to. There is one assumption I have made, I assume we will bring him to us before he dies. That is allowed and is not considered arrogant?”
Robbie laughed, “Lusalith, you’ve just made Samantha love you very much. That is her dream also. She has offered to split her soul and create a body so that her twin can love Arthur when he arrives.”
“She is not allowed to love me as she is? Must we all split ourselves? What of the first part, it is not allowed to love him?”
He chuckled. “I’m sorry, I should have explained, she wishes her twin to love him as his mate. He has shown he loves her also and is eager to start his life here with her at his side. Since she is my mate it is the only way for her to be with him. I do not want to lose my Samantha.”
“I have heard it is so. If I may speak without hurting you, it is a very strange species you are that you hold your children to yourself as your mate.”
“Not all our species Lusalith, just me.”
“I was speaking of your family Robert, have you not made yourselves a species different from those of your planet?”
Lucy saved us by asking her whether she would like to visit Asimi.
Robbie decided to take her to the Lace world first. She has the same sense of beauty as us to the extent that she rhapsodised about the world. When asked whether she would like to go for a ride with our rodeo girls she agreed without much enthusiasm. She returned from the ride sounding just like an over-excited child. I guess we’ll be taking her again.
Cherine demanded we do a telling for her before arriving in Athens, so Freddie stopped in a dead reality, but positioned himself over the center of a galaxy. We first gave everyone time to adjust to the beauty and settle down and then we started the telling.
At the end of the first telling she only asked Robbie one question. “Does Arthur also consider you a criminal?”
“I think you better keep your questions for the moment, the next few tellings will provide you with most of the answers and fill your mind with new questions.” We’d all been very careful not to show or emote our amusement at her question. Just wait until she finds out our precious Arthur is also a criminal!
As we’d surmised, it is not possible for a male DD to have sex with an underage female DD so Lusalith was not upset by what she learnt. She was capable of understanding the moral and ethical issues without her emotions tangling them up into a messy knot as happens with our species and she feels we are in the wrong, but that there are extenuating circumstances (a nice description of Cherine?).