The Columbia 30 - Part 4
Even though I was fast becoming the leper of the Program there were still several members who wanted to be friends with me. One was the guy who I'd been leery of—Drake Hogyston who later became a big soap star on NBC's “Days Of Our Lives”. He was from Indiana and always like to point out that James Dean lived there at one time with his Aunt and Uncle. Josh had told us to go to the L.A. Zoo and watch the gorillas as an assignment. Then we were to play one on stage in class. It was a Saturday. I went to the Zoo and lo and behold so did Drake. We got to know each other a bit and I learned his nickname was Hogy, for Hogyston. We stood side by side and watched the gorillas. Mostly they seemed to be looking at us with a loathing glare. Occasionally picking the shit out of their rectums and separating out the grass that hadn't been digested and eating it! Gross! Also removing fleas from their fellow gorillas coats of hair for yet another snack. That's all we saw for several hours. We decided we'd gotten the gist of it and left.
In the parking lot, Drake/Hogy, who loved to tell stories about his past and interesting people he'd known was finishing a long one. If he'd not been doing this I might have been able to prevent another bad event about to fall on top of me. But it was the story that took priority. After we said good bye and I went to find where I'd parked my car—it was gone! A man and his wife nearby said “Oh boy, I wondered about those Mexicans. They where playing around with your car and kept saying hey we gotta get going. It did look suspicious, but I just wasn't sure.” Now I realized while I was busy listening to the end of the story the thieves had driven right by us! In fact I even saw my car out of the corner of my eye, but it didn't register because I was distracted. Damn! I ran trying to catch Hogy as he was slowly driving out of the parking lot. No go. He was probably blasting music on the radio and couldn't hear me calling out.
I walked out of the Zoo parking lot and over to the nearby Ventura Freeway. I saw a Highway Patrol car parked nearby. I waved at him. He took my stolen vehicle report. Then I went to a shopping center, found a pay phone and called Lee, my friend from Cedars, to come and pick me up. His VW Van arrived and he drove me back to my place in West Hollywood. At one point he turned to me and said “You're right. Stuff is always happening to you. Stuff like this never happens to me—but to you—all the time.” I wasn't enjoying fate messing with me. But it had me in its sights and there didn't seem to be much I could do about it. Like I said before, both good and bad things kept hitting me—one after the other.
The next day even Josh showed some sympathy towards me for my stolen car. That night I received a call from the police—they'd recovered my little red bug on the 405 freeway on the way to San Diego. It'd been towed to a wrecking yard in Long Beach. I never kept much gas in it so the thieves had run out and abandoned it. Again I called my good friend Lee. He came and we headed for the towing yard. Strange, but when I recovered my car and got in behind the wheel I felt as though I'd been the one violated. Like I could feel the thieves fingerprints on everything I touched. To this day when I think of California sooner or later the memory of cars I had stolen there come back—two of them, both Volkswagens. The second one I never got back.
The day came when we had to play a gorilla on stage. I watched several male actors (the women weren't required to do this exercise) trying to imitate a gorilla and even Drake was called up—but none of them, including Drake, did what I—WE—had observed at the zoo. My turn came. I gave a loathing glare to the audience, my fellow classmates, that was easy, and then stuck my ass off the edge of the stage aiming right at 'em and picked my asshole—pretending to remove some grass from poop and eat it. After a while Josh laughed and said okay that's enough. HE KNEW the gorillas did that. I was the only one who acted it out. My weird little victory. If it was one.
One day Josh tried to show us another exercise to break down inhibitions. You stood before the class and in as relaxed a manner as possible you let out a loud yell for a full breathe. Basically you had to let go of the idea of being afraid to look like a complete fool in front of an audience. Just do it without concern for what anyone thought. This is a way to teach actor's courage. Being willing to look weak, foolish, cowardly, in short all those things we like to hide from others in society—but as actors you will have to portray them. Drake did pretty well at it, better than the others. Of course Josh called me up and I tried too, but I was so scared that I just stared at Drake hoping looking at him would help me garner some courage to continue. I'm afraid I didn't do too well. Another failure. Add it to the list.
In my 3rd scene I played a writer from Ernest Hemingway's “The Green Hills of Africa” with an Asian actress Mariko Tse. I was floundering in this scene. I didn't really understand it. Mariko had picked it and I was lost to its meaning. Josh had a field day criticizing me in this one. At one point I'd stroked her hair and he latched onto that and really ground me down. “What was that pathetic move to stroke her hair and the way you snapped your fingers to call the waiter?! What were you thinking?” I was a complete failure. I couldn't do anything right on stage. I was so angry and fed up. I remember at one point he changed the subject and mentioned to the audience about his bad health. His doctor had told him he was allergic to himself. I made a smart ass remark back, “Well you have to start somewhere.”
I'd become a sort of whipping boy in the Program. Still without a successfully performed scene I was always the one Josh made fun of if he could relate it to the moment. I continued to give it back to him when I could. I was angry, hurt, and confused. The chip on my shoulder started grew larger. Even Mariko told me she was afraid to be seen talking with me should Josh notice and it effect her chances of a contract. Still a couple of the actors took pity and tried to explain to me about acting, but even they couldn't describe what I was missing. I now realize Joshua made an example out of me. Later, Mary told me she'd heard what Josh had done to me and was angry about it. In fact I'm sure it contributed to their falling out towards the end of the Program. When actors were chosen for Columbia film contracts Josh didn't even consult Mary and did all the picking himself. I was told later the two ran into each other at Schwabs Drugstore (a famous location in Hollywood—allegedly Lana Turner was first spotted there by a talent agent who got her career started). A friend was there having coffee and apparently Mary and Josh gave each other dagger eyes.
End of part 4
