Sitting on the porch in the morning,
After another hard night,
3 cups of coffee I drink,
To try and be alert today.
The pictures are folded and sprawled on the bed,
There is no trace of you in my room anymore,
Like a mentally ill person, I deleted all our pictures,
Social networks and wherever possible.
I hate you now,
But myself more,
You were the love of my life,
You were my house,
And now the house is so empty,
Without you.
The walls are there,
But you do not.
You have my heart now,
And you broke it.
why did you go?
Who fooled you?
Who told you to give you more than I gave?
Who will hold you like me?
I try to paint your face in the sky,
I try to imagine your image in front of me,
But that does not work either,
Maybe because I've forgotten what you look like,
But I did not forget my feeling,
How can I forget how I felt,
When you were here.
I have not seen your eyes in a month,
Who looked at me lovingly,
Which would give me hope,
On nights when I did not feel like myself.
I want to talk to you,
To tell you how I went through today,
To tell you how difficult it is for me to manage without you,
How my whole character crumbles.
When it comes to you,
I always break all conventions.
But I'm a coward,
I've always been like that,
Never too obvious,
It was hard for me to say how much I love,
It was hard for me to say how much I love you.
I wish I had the courage,
Get closer to you again.
The heart becomes entangled,
And the head is heavy with thoughts,
I hate those nights,
That I beg them for your smell,
For all the good you have given to my world.
I'll shout from my heart,
Until your heart hears,
I know I was wrong,
But there must be a way back.
If the situation was reversed I would forgive you,
At least that seemed to me.
Open your hair in my hole,
The boy who fell asleep in the darkness,
Calling you to bring him a blanket,
Because he died of cold,
Because this time he promises,
To keep you safe.
Come back here,
And you'll do me a mess in the mess,
I do not want anyone else,
Touch my heart,
It belongs only to you,
Believe in me and give me your hand,
Because I'm scared to be alone again.
So that's how it ended,
Our story is like all the stories,
For a broken heart,
About loneliness,
And sadness,
Let me see you again,
Then die,
Because without you I have no life,
It sounds cliché,
But you have no idea how true it is.
Do not give him your heart,
IM begging,
Always the neighbor's grass is greener,
I know that my color has long faded,
Please come back.
It is six in the morning,
And that's the time you usually went around in bed.
Face to face, a small smile, a warm hug and a big kiss.
I can see from the corner of your eye that your hood is lying unevenly on the chair, and it winks at me.
Who knows you how much I did not like the cold winter nights before we met.
The blanket now covers only me.
Under my head was one pillow and the sides of the torn bear you bought me a year ago.
I walk around in bed, beside the wall,
Which was once your side.
And the wall is cold, hard and funny, it reminds me of you.
And I imagine your cold hands on my cheek,
He looks at me a few minutes before the eyes close.
And whispering to me ...
What did you whisper to me?
I never heard,
I never understood.
One word of love I just asked ...
And I turn around for the third time because how can I feel the cold and ignore it?
Just like you ignored me.
So I chose to get up and leave.
I've already seen that you've deleted our photos from all social networks and even blocked me from sending you messages.
You must hate me now,
I admit ... I hate myself a little more.
Because you were the love of my life.
But such love is not healthy.
And I always dreamed of great love.
I found her with someone else.
He gives me more than you ever gave me. He loves me more than you ever loved me
Even though I'm not sure now ...
Because you never told me what you really feel.
And it's hard for me,
To think about you and the possibility that maybe one day I'll meet and regret that I did not try to give you another chance.
Another chance to talk,
Another chance to love.
But then I remember you were a coward, even the first date all the time you had declined for fear that it would not work out.
How I wish you had the courage.
That one day you would stand outside my apartment and tell me you loved me.
That way, with such simplicity.
I hate winter mornings because it's hard for me to get out of bed when you're not here.
And I hate even more the winter nights because I feel even more missing.
Did you have to forget your hoodie?
His smell ... just cures me.
And maybe this could be a good enough reason for you to come to me and ask for forgiveness ...
The mistakes you made and then I can also tell you ...
That I still love you.
Despite everything and after all.
Come back here,
And do me all the mess you left behind.
I do not want to give my heart to someone else,
Someone who is not you.
You know my heart belongs only to you.