Hi folks!
This is me George the Seagull. I'll be your guide through these troubling times. I've got two fine seagull stories for you today. I hope you'll love them as much as we seagulls love bread. Or ice cream. Or just screaming without ice.
These are some heart-warming and touching stories from real life, but from the viewpoint of us seagulls.
We'll start with the story about...
HEY DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT KID THREW SOME BREAD!
Steve: "Shut up George, it's my bread."
Suzy: "Yeah George, shut up! Let me have my bread in peace!"
George: "There's enough bread for everyone, stop going nuts about it!"
One-Eyed Frank: "GIVE ALL YOUR BREAD TO ME!"
George: "If we'll share the bread..."
One-Eyed Frank slaps George with his wing: "No sharing, dumbass!"
George: "But..."
Elizabeth: "You heard what Frank said, get lost if you don't want to get the bread!"
Tim: "Bread?"
Emma The Clever Bird snatches the bread and flies away.
Suzy: "Give me bread!"
Tim: "Bread?"
Steve: "Bread!"
George: "Where's the bread?"
One-Eyed Frank: "BREAD!"
Elizabeth: "Give me some bread too you greedy bastards!"
All the seagulls in one, unified voice: "Where's the bread?"
George is confused.
All the seagulls except George: "Where's the bread, George? You promised us bread."
George is still confused: "Well.. I do think I saw a bread, but it might have been a silly mistake."
The seagulls: "Get him! Let's teach him a lesson"
sounds of violence
screams of pain and agony
crying and sobbing
George calmly and unhurt swims away, below the flapping seagull wings.
The seagulls: "Where is George? Where is bread?"
Suzy: "... I do think George was here. What if George was the bread?"
Tim: "Whoa. That's deep, Suzy. "
Steve: "We can agree that George was bread and he never existed. Let's carry on."
And this is how George survived from being mauled to death, even though he wasn't bread. Alone and exiled, he was wandering the streets alone. He was 10 meters from home and he wasn't sure if he ever could go back.
Fate had other plans. Fate was a seagull too, and as we know, seagulls are dumbasses.
Fate the Seagull: "WHO DID YOU CALL DUMB? MY MOTHER WAS A GREAT SINGLE MOTHER WHO RAISED ME ALL BY HERSELF. SHE DID DRINK AND SMOKE WHEN SHE LAID MY EGG BUT IT NEVER TRULY AFFECTED ME. SHE GAVE ME A PRETTY NAME TOO!"
Fate the Seagull: "YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? I'LL SHOW YOU, I CAN FLY! FLYYYY. NOT EVERY SEAGULL CAN DO THAT, RIGHT?"
George: "What the hell Fate? You suck at flying. Goddamit, don't fly if you can't do it."
George screamed: "YOU HEAR ME FATE? You are stupid dumbass, even on a seagull scale. You're all muscle and zero brain!"
Fate the Seagull, flexing all his muscles to the max: "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, MOTHERFUCKER?"
George: "..."
George: "I should learn to shut up."
George: "Can't help it, got to go and get my ass kicked."
Fate the Seagull sung: "I'm strong I'm strong I'm strongest of them all, I eat beans and I poop steel, I am strongerst of them ALL!"
George, who hates singing, attacks suddenly: "NO BUT YOU'RE A DUMBASS!"
Fate the Seagull: "HOLY SHIT HE'S A SEAGULL TOO!"
Surprised by the sudden revelation, Fate escapes.
George: "Hell yeah, that's what you get when you mess with me."
Fate the Seagull: "I'M A SEAGULL"
Fate the Seagull: "I'M A SEAGULL"
Fate the Seagull: "I'M A SEAGULL yeehaww"
George, shouting with pride: "You hear me? I'm the baddest seagull on the block! I have won Fate in combat. I am the ultimate seagull master!"
Other seagulls: "Whatever George, nobody cares."
Just like nobody should. Seagulls are stupid.
99% of the seagulls are black-headed gulls. There was at least one european herring gull in the middle of the black-headed gulls. All the photos were taken by me when I was testing the new lens I got.
You shouldn't feed seagulls. We were feeding a bit of bread to some ducks when all the seagulls appeared. To be honest, you shouldn't feed ducks either, but we're rebels. Thanks for reading the story!