As I lay here on my bed 🛏..... getting ready to start my day .....I can’t help but think about how different today was supposed to be...... something about when it’s raining that makes me that much more emotional . Lol ..... well I can’t help but think that the man I love was supposed to be here today. He was supposed to be here laying with me ..... we were supposed to share this lazy Sunday together.... I was supposed to know what it felt like to be held by him ..... to know what it felt like to be kissed by him.....to know what it felt like to have him close to me ..... but plans change ..... life changes ..... it’s a feeling I will never know..... maybe it’s for the best.... maybe it’s a sign that I should stay in the situation I’m in..... maybe it’s a sign that it would have never worked out .... maybe he wouldn’t have liked me ..... or maybe it wouldn’t have lasted .... maybe he’s better off without me..... isn’t sad that I still love him .... isn’t it sad that I can’t hate him.... he won’t even talk to me .... and I can’t hate him .... I still wish him the best ... I miss our many Sunday morning phone conversations.... it’s funny how one in particular still stands out in my mind .
See that’s what I hate about planning .... a lot of times, things don’t work out as planned.
