Regret for things not done, whatever’s done is done.
She was looking from the plane window and only now realized what she had done. Only now she started feeling the fear creeping into her.
“What have you done? It’s too risky” That’s what the voice of her inner “right” self was telling.
But the other “she” was smiling and thinking that she finally did something adventurous.
In case she does not get raped and/or killed by a stranger, she’ll have something to remember.
She met him in the chat room, where she usually was chatting to her long distance boyfriend (how ironic!). But the boyfriend did not show up that day (bad for him). She started chatting to the only person besides her in the chat.
Nothing really serious, just a few questions and an easy conversation. She had done that so many times…with so many people. Shared memories and talked about values, thoughts, events. Those people no matter how “unreal” they were helped her kill the time and overcome the feeling of being misunderstood.
In short that’s how they hooked up.
Then she started entering the chat room with one of her friends, who seemed to seek new emotions and was free and careless, unlike herself, who was going too deep with analysis when they were not needed. Anyway one day her friend convinced her to finally give up to his requests and send him their photos.
And that’s when it all started.
He chose her and his phone calls became more frequent. At some point she thought she knew everything about him and that no one was closer to her emotionally than him…not even that long-distance boyfriend, who was gradually becoming a ghost from the past.
She was receiving his favorite books sent by him through DHL, to read and discuss later. All seemed so nice and so fresh that she started believing that she might be special; she started thinking of herself as a perfect woman. She felt beautiful, wanted, loved….
Strange how all that cyber chaos may make you feel, huh?
Time came, when she hoped that she’ll fall in love with him at some point.
He was her best friend, her soul mate, her psychiatrist… But deep inside the intuition told her that he was too good to be true.
And here she is, in the plane flying to him.
They never met before; she had never been in that country and did not speak the language. She knew no one there and had only his mobile number and a small amount of money.
And what was scarier almost?
No one knew where she was.
Her trip was a huge secret and she knew that if her mum found out, she’d have a heart attack.
But she was crazy enough, romantic enough, courageous enough and stupid enough to make the move. And here she was sitting in the plane and only now realizing how eccentric she was.
She was scared but being completely honest to herself she knew that if she could turn back the time she would do the same.
She was flying with a slight hope to change her future, to feel what she had never felt before and start living instead of existing…
Where will the plane take her and what will her trip bring?
Big love? Disappointment? Happiness? Lost virginity? Broken heart?
None of the above happened.
At least she hopes she did not break his heart.
Nevertheless it was a big turning point for both of them