But without parent's consent of course. (oops)
My family is kinda conservative, like multiple piercings, tattoos and alcohol is a big fucking NO-NO to them.
giphy.com
But since I'm the black sheep in the family and a vigorously, introvertly but ladylike silently depressed lil hoe, Imma take my chances. hahaha
So yes, my friend asked me if I would want to join a tattoo session with her and her other friend this Sunday. (We talked about this last week) I said sure, why not. And she said, "Imma tell you this early, it'll hurt." I told her beforehand how I have zero percent tolerance in pain and that I even need my mom to go with me to the dentist at this age of 24 years old. hahahaha (weakshit af)
Then I replied to her, "Really?."
And she said, "Really..."
And then I said, "............................................ ah fuck it, let's go."
And off we went to the tattoo studio.
And off I went to dig my grave.
It was my first tat. Knowing I have zero percent tolerance in pain, all I could think about was how much it would hurt and how the needles would actually come kill me and send my soul flying to heaven from excruciating pain. hahaha.
is "Love Yourself". And the design I showed to the tattoo artist is this:
self-love
Why I chose this? Its because, its kind of like a reminder to myself that I should love myself first; that I should forgive myself first; that I should be kind and gentle to myself first and that I should help myself first. You all know how depressed I am and I think, one step into getting out of that blackhole kind of depression, is by learning to love yourself first. Acceptance from all of the bad things you have done in the past and in the future. I've got a LOT of insecurities within me, be it physical or not, there are a lot of them and its eating my soul out. So whenever I look in my mirror naked, I would be reminded of myself, in that body, in that face, in that soul and mind, that I should love myself more. (P.S. this is in no way relevant to Bieber's song "Love Yourself". Please cut that crap.)
So yes, here is a link of a gif format of me facing the devil of a needle in the tattooing process.
Behemoth's Claws of Fury
As you can see, excruciating pain can be clearly seen in my eyes and in my brows. The needle was SO painful when it hit my rib bone. LIKE DAMN PAINFUL. I thought my soul would ascend to heaven from too much agony. And I'm not kidding about this metaphor. It literally hurt like "THAT" much.
this much
But after the process, everything was as bright as day. It didn't hurt anymore. Though it kinda stings a bit, but its totally fine. I just gotta wait a month for it to heal completely.
Oh and that was the moment I also knew that tattoo is really just creating a shallow wound in your skin with ink and beautiful imagery. Hence, its a fucking wound. A. fucking. wound. that. looks. awesome. af. 😬
And here is the picture of the final tattoo:
(forgive me for my flabs. I wasn't born with a supermodel body.)
And here is our photo together after all of our tattooing process was done:
My friend's tattoo (the girl in the middle) hurt more and felt more pain than the both of us did because hers was so big and it had many shadings and intricate details that needs 5-7 needles to tattoo in. (yikes)
If I would have had that kind of tattoo? I'd die. I'd just die.
And of course, in order to commemorate my first tattoo, I get to have a little photography session with myself in my room.
Here are some of my pics:
One thing I have to say is that, I didn't regret doing this. This has made me happy and I live for finding happiness in this desolate life of mine. Would I want to do it again? Hell yeah I will. But I'd go for the minimalistic kind of tattoos so that it would hurt that much. Again, a disclaimer, I am a total weakshit and I live by that. hahaha
