I grew up with an interesting life that didn't teach or encourage financial nor career success. I was taught on other topics and abstract ideals of success- just not finances.
Photo taken and edited by me.
In my version of family life, success was surviving on an elementary level; food, basic hand me down clothing, roof, kids behaving, etc.
We didn't do extracurriculars because my parents couldn't afford it. When my parents had to pull me out of Karate due to financial stress, I got into a LOT of trouble for telling the Sensé who offered the classes to me for free.
My parents wouldn't accept charity or subsidies which simply made us poorer than the poorer kids. I learned to not ask for much, if anything at all. I learned not to expect much in life. The more that I expected or wanted, the more disappointment I encountered and anger and shame from my parents.
I wanted nothing. I couldn't want; I wasn't allowed to. Eventually this had less to do with material items and more to do with everything else.
Motivation and goals simply weren't things that we were taught; eat, clean, play, sleep, school, repeat.
Though I loved school most of my life, I didn't understand the point by the time I was in grade 9. Why bother if we couldn't afford post secondary and I was just going to end up working for min wage or dying by the time I was finished school. Due to abuse at home, I dropped out and left town. I couldn't handle home anymore.
Fast forward to 2012 where I decided I was going to college. No, still didn't finish high school. I was one of the last few people who got into college with the aptitude testing. Funny thing was, I failed the math test. I was great with math in high school but so much time had passed and so few opportunities to use algebra had caused me to read an alien language that looked similar to numbers and letters.
Because I'd done so well on my English test, they let me in with promise to take math fundamentals (which I never ended up taking).
College bound I was. How exciting. I was what is called a "first generation" which means that no one in my family has gone to college or uni. I was also a mature student, single mother, and living in the poverty range and have an ethnic background of Meitis. In short, I was a massive likely to fail situation.
I finished my program with the exception of one credit. That wasn't my fault as my program coordinator told me you take it online but the class was no longer taking applicants.
So, I finally left school on medical leave. I was given permission to withdraw. Then things just kept getting bad to bad to worse to, I'm confused.
The only way that I can go back to school is with funding to pay for the one course, funding to get by in that time, a means to pay the 4500 owed in student loans and a high end laptop (for editing software).
I really need to finish this, if not for myself than for my child. For us. For love and life.
In my position in unable to come up with such funds so I've been considering fundraising.
I'm writing this post to ask if anyone knows where or how is the best way to create an income revenue to help me get past this hurdle and FAST. Gofindme? Selling edits of mini poetry? Adding my PayPal link to my blog posts? Something else?
All ideas are welcome. Please. 💕
