It sounds weird by I believe the fact that no one listened is the worst part in all of it.

Diet, exercise, and working on being a good person helped

That's actually right. In fact the reason I believe I went back to feeling this way is because lockdowns enforced put me in a place where I didn't have access to the first two.

I am not in a suicidal place or anything. But the place I am in is due to the fact that I ignored everything for so long and it keeps rushing back to me. If you'd see my posts you'd know that I am a write so I keep revisiting these things for inspiration, I guess I just wasn't in a good place when I started recalling things.

Thank you for your long message, and I really want to know more about your journey. Hopefully you wrote about it somewhere. The work you put into what you wrote really shows how much of a good person you are, and Hive is a better place with you in it.

It's just a weak moment, it will pass.