You can find peace. I've worked with survivors of war and abuse here in America at meditation retreats. I was also abused and witnessed my father's death from cancer when I was four years old. My mother married a man who was sexually attracted to children and abusive. I won't go into details or my journey through foster care. I grew up scared of everything, hiding explosive rage and friendless. I never told anyone what happened to me until I was a teenager; no one believed me.

I knew if I was broken I could be fixed, maybe even better than before, using my survival skills (superhero) instead of them using me, like hyper-alertness, super strength when I get scared, the ability to read people to stay out of abusive situations.

Pharmaceuticals didn't help me, nor did counseling. Diet, exercise, and working on being a good person helped. I also believe in a higher being, Jesus Christ and God. They kept me company when I was alone and broken. In my 30s, I found a Buddhist Monk in Gresham, Oregon (USA) to help me deal with my adverse mental and physical conditions (PTSD). He sent me to a meditation Master called SN Goenka, who ran charitable Vipassana (insight into reality) retreats. That was 30 years ago, my first three years of work and changing how I lived, how I reacted to sensory data negatively, which doubled my pain. I let go of my rage, night terrors, panic attacks, and depression.

Life is still painful; I have close, healthy relationships but not a lot of friends. But how I handle that pain has radically changed. I'm also older now, and that has helped, getting older and going through life's ups and downs made me realize nothing stays the same. So what is unbearable or beautiful will pass. Even if life is hellish, you can cultivate heaven in your heart just like I grow my gardens.

My point is you can let go of your trauma, see the world as it is and find peace in your heart, maybe even share it with others.

May you find peace and share it with others🙏🏽