If I perish I perish.
I was already exhausted at my first day without a house help. It was just me doing all the chores in the house from the cooking to the cleaning and so on. At first I was kind of encouraging myself that I am even doing a better job than the person that i was paying to do the job for me but on getting to the third day I broke down. It was a whole lot that I can't just cope with it all coupled with the stress from work.
Talking of work, I started coming late to work and my senior manager was the first to notice that something was off about me. I was so stressed that I couldn't even find time again to make up. On this particular day I was in a meeting in the office with other managers and as they were discussing about some marketing strategies I was deep in thoughts. I kept wondering how I am going to meet up with all the stress from home and work that I didn't know when I broke down in tears. I immediately excused myself from the meeting.
The agency that helps with house helps called me that they have someone for me. I was filled with joy that atleast I will have my life back. When the lady arrived, she was a 22 years old from Benue state. I sent her to the hospital for medical checkup and it turned out that she is Hepatitis B positive. They apologised and promised to get someone for me as soon as possible. I was so disappointed and thus back to square one.
But then I kept wondering what would have become my fate if out of my desperation, I failed to take the lady for medical checkup?
This taught me a lesson never to throw away caution no matter how stressed or desperate that I am. I put a call across to three of my friends and informed me that I want to quit my job. That was the only way to relieve myself of being burnt down by stress atleast till I find someone else to help me keep my house in order. My children are more important to me and their safety is my top priority. I can start applying for a new job once I got someone else.
I went to work to tell them that I am stressed up and need some break for myself before I will break down both physically and mentally. The Hr was sympathetic and I have to pour my heart to him. He offered to give me some time to work from home and also get everything back together again.
So I have been working from home and it helped me so much. Yesterday I went to the office because I needed to get somethings done and I took my kids along with me. It was a whole lot of stress and also fun experience. Apart from the fact that they got to see where mummy work, some of my colleagues at work were also happy to see them. My kids started throwing tantrums that they were hungry and I have to take them to a restaurant to eat. After having their lunch I took them back home to continue my work from home.
I am still hopeful that I will get a help sooner so that I can go back to work and also I sincerely don't like doing chores.
I will rather go make some money instead.