It has been 4 years, 7 months and 17 days since I touched you for the last time. I put my hand on your forehead. I couldn’t keep my hand on you for more than a couple of seconds. I couldn’t bear the coldness in the body that always provided me with the warmth of affection. You were the man who used to stand up to welcome me whenever I visited his place (be it home, shop or any other gathering) was lying still without any moment even when I was standing beside you.
It has been 4 years 7 months and 22 days when you hugged me for the last time. You came to the door of your home to see me off. It was the last time I heard your voice. I never heard your voice again. I cannot hear it ever again.
I remember the moments when I came near to you in the ICU. You stared at me anxiously and changed your position on the bed. You were losing your senses, memory and consciousness gradually. I came to meet you. I talked to you; you didn't reply. You didn’t recognize that I was your daughter. How painful it was to see you changing your position instead of greeting me with your affectionate hug.
You brought so many toys for Hussain (my elder son). Whenever you visited the market for any purpose, a toy for Hussain was mandatory. The toys are all with him. Today, Hunain (my younger son) also plays with them. Ahhhhhhh! How eager you were to take him in your lap. But you could never see him. He could never see you. Hunain came into our lives after 27 days of your departure. However, he talks about his “Nana Abbu” (maternal grandfather) the way as if he has spent time with you. People say he takes after you.
Your departure from this world has changed many things in our lives. I have many other loving relationships but your absence often makes me feel insecure. You were my strength. I never had to ask you for help. I only had to let you know about my problems; you never remained unsolved.
Time might have the power to heal all the wounds, as it is usually said; but I still feel the same pain in my heart as I felt it the day you left us forever. The space created due to your absence is not filling; instead, it is increasing day by day. During events of joy, your absence is felt greater than before. During times of grieves, your absence gives a sense of being aloof; however, your teachings of hard work and faithfulness motivate me to move on. I must say you reside in me.