In the end it’s going to be you and yourself.
You belong to you and this is why you have to accept yourself and to work on this person that is growing day by day. Self talk is a way to work on yourself and helps you to be positive.
Be selfish in a way to be better psychically and mentally.
Finding your identity maybe takes years, but you have to trust yourself. Yourself is your only motivation in life.
Even if you have children you must be powerful for them.
Firstly, you should be nice, in order to find nice people to be in your life. So, everything starts and ends to ourselves.
Stay patient, give you the time to work on mistakes and love yourself.