I read your post and was motivated to say that I feel you have the ability to change, we all do. Many people attached things from their past to their present and future and that can be dangerous and, at the bare minimum, unproductive. The things that happen in our pasts are just things unless we breathe life into them by making them reasons we can't move forward.

You can change your present and future, you just need to take the first step and that's often accepting what happened in your past, closing the door on it, and finding new paths to walk.