Ageing me

I looked in the mirror today; truly looked.

I saw lines and creases and skin not as soft and supple as it once was; a hint of crows feet around my eyes - eyes less innocent and more knowing as they once were. I saw silvery streaks in my hair...and I saw an ageing me.

My face carries a lifetime of experiences, good and bad. There's beautiful moments of light, like the sun shining down on a spring day as I lay in a field of flowers. Shadows also, because that's part of life; they fall across our path, often inexplicably and at other times exactly when they need to. As my mind wandered back to those countless moments, the brushstrokes I've painted across the canvas of my life, I felt my lips pull into a smile and my eyes soften as they stared into themselves and I felt...happy and content.

I've spent many years painting my life in colours and shades and it's not always been easy or enjoyable. It's been my life however - my masterpiece one could say - and looking in the mirror today I saw it painted upon my face, a life-weathered face that carries the passage of time . I saw a lifetime of experiences and small moments, of tragedy and triumph, love and loss, all displayed there for people to see.

I used to wonder what people saw when they looked at me however these days I know it's what I see about myself that is ultimately the most important. Do I see an ageing me? No, I just see a face. The real me lies somewhere within me; my mind, my soul or spirit? I'm not sure. I know I'm more than what I look like though - far more. I'm not my reputation or looks, that's other people's judgement. I'm my character, the things I do when people are watching or not and it's that which matters.

Someone once said to me, smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking. True enough I'd say. Today, looking in the mirror...I was thinking about a life well-lived and life yet to be lived.