After the worship service one Sunday morning, a woman with a sad look approached the pastor’s wife., who happened to be the proprietress of the preschool her 4-year-old daughter attended. “Sorry ma’am, can I share a burden with you?” she asked.
“Of course my dear, go right ahead,” the pastor’s wife answered.
“I worry that Suzy, my 4-year-old daughter in your school has a split personality,” the woman said. “At school, she cleans up her toys, puts on her shoes, pees by herself, eats her food, does her classwork without any drama, and she’s entirely self-sufficient at potty time. But at home, she whines whenever I ask her to pick anything up, insists her join her in the bathroom whenever he wants to pee, wouldn’t do her homework except I do it for her, and lately has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Clearly, her teacher knows something I don’t. I wonder why my child is better for her teacher than for me.”
After listening to her very carefully, the pastor’s wife smiled softly and said, “Your child tests her limits with you because she trusts you will love her no matter what. But that doesn’t mean you can’t borrow a few strategies from the pre-school teacher’s playbook to get the best out of her. Why your 4-year-old still needs plenty of your parental help, she’s typically able to do more than you think. Raise the bar for her and she’ll probably stretch to meet it. Resist doing for her what she can do for herself, and you’ll discover that she will be better for you and for everyone else.”
The expression “raise the bar” means to raise standards or expectations, especially by creating something to a higher standard. It originated from the sporting world, where the athletic prowess of pole-vaulters and high jumpers are tested by raising a bar. Every athlete wants to break previous world records and no one wants to settle for less. Hence, they do everything it takes to successfully go over the bar, thereby accomplishing greater heights. Raising the bar obviously induces individuals to come out of their comfort zone and strive for excellence. In different areas of life, we have seen and read of many people who strove to meet a particular standard. Often, such people reach the peak of their careers, where they become a standard for other people.
If individuals would go out of their way to outdo others and even themselves by setting standards and excelling in things that are mundane, why then do we handle the divine task of raising children with levity and mediocrity? Parent, what standards do you set for your children? Or are you indulging them? Children can do far better than you could ever imagine. SO stop underrating their abilities. Set higher standards for your children, and you’ll bring out the best in them.
